Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 9

12 May, 2011 | | 6 Comments

We’re into single digits – there are now only 9 full days left ’til the end of the world.  In case you still doubt, yesterday was to mark the destruction of Rome.  Hundreds of people fled the city; luckily for them, Rome wasn’t destroyed in a day. 

Anyway, I’m highlighting a different thing each day that I’m NOT GONNA MISS come the Rapture.  Please continue to comment with your own NGM thoughts as well – I’m keeping the list, and I’ll tally them up and see what we’re all least likely to miss at the end of all things.

Number 10:  Donald Trump’s Hair.
Number 9:  People who can’t drive in bad weather.

Every winter in the Northern hemisphere, people take time out from meebling about their pathetic little lives to “count their blessings.”  They give thanks for things they take for granted, like cars, and for things that really matter to them and make a positive difference in their lives, like the latest episode of Glee.  Then they get in their cars, humming unrecognizable versions of songs you were too stoned to remember the first time they were hits, and stop halfway up the icy hill.

It doesn’t matter where you are, what state, how much snow you do or don’t get – there’s always some idiot who chickens out halfway up the damn hill and can’t get started again, despite having paid extra for the Sport-n-Weather Package down at the Gas-n-Go, with those cute Pirelli tires starting to spin as they slide to the right and then sideways back down the hill, looking more surprised than embarrassed.  They’re usually right in front of me.  What is so hard about this?  Don’t stop on the hill.  Don’t. Stop. On. The. Hill.   SOBUMD and I will open the curtains and a bottle of wine on a snowy day, counting morons as they stop on the hill and go sliding.   Bonus points for busses.

So God, because I’m Not Gonna Miss people who can’t drive in bad weather – call the Rapture on May 21.

6 Comments
  1. Chris says:

    meebling? define

  2. admin says:

    Meeble: concatenation of feeble and mope. Usually heard from tweenagers who’ve spent too long reading Twilight and find themselves empathizing with a lead character who can’t be bothered to make a decision and stick to it; Meeble, I wanna be a sparkly vampire, meeble, I love me some badass werewolf, mope, I dunno what to do. Remember, you can’t spell meeble without ME.

  3. Inappropriate Girl says:

    Meebling = self-centered whining

  4. Chris says:

    Thank God for that def, cuz here’s what Urban dict says:

    “The liquid excreted by the Meeble worm of the banana republic. it is boiled and distilled several times before crystallizing. The crystals are then crushed into a power and snorted for enjoyment.”

    Also, I felt Twilight was deeply spiritual, so I can’t relate to your comment there.

  5. Joe Phillips says:

    Love that the Billy Graham Association is an ad on your page…

  6. Countdown to the Rapture | Big Ugly Man Doll says:

    […] 10:  Donald Trump’s Hair. Number 9:  People who can’t drive in bad weather. Number 8:  Annoying Facebook status update memes. Number 7:  Cheap Beer. Number 6:  Natural […]

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