OK, OK, I know, it’s only July, but it has been ONE HUNDRED YEARS, and they do just happen to have the best record in baseball at the moment.
You know, today.
Now.
At this very minute.
I’m sure that will change; after all, I’ve only been waiting for 39 years. I know how this works.
But still. It’s been 100 years.
It’s time.
I’m just sayin’, is all.
And yes, the Big Ugly Man Doll is back from the round the world (by which I mean 5 states within reasonable proximity of one another) holiday tour, just in time to wish you, personally (Yes, you! I know you read this, and you know who you are!), where was I, you personally, and all your family, and whichever of your close friends you care to include, since 2008 is the year of being inclusive (I so declare), in any event, where were we, oh yes, to wish you and yours (as designated above) a Very Happy New Year.
I wish you the same number of landings as takeoffs in 2008.
I wish you few arrests and fewer convictions in 2008.
I wish you fewer headaches in 2008.
I wish you more backrubs in 2008.
I wish you would post more often in 2008.
I wish you more beer in 2008.
I wish you better entertainment in 2008.
And finally, as this first day of a hopeful new draws to its close, let me remind you of this: The Chicago Cubs last won the Series in 1908. The One-Hundred-Year Slump ends this year. This Year Is ‘Next Year’!!!