Posts tagged ‘cats!’

The Oncoming WHAT?

15 September, 2012 | | 3 Comments

Oh god.

So there we were, enjoying coffee and a perfect morning on the back deck, sunshine streaming through the trees, trees swaying in the slight breeze, myself, SOBUMD, the Human Tape Recorder, and the Reigning Queen of Pink.  We had some bread diced fine scattered on the railing for the birds, who were waiting impatiently for us to get out of the way so they could eat it – some of them actually weren’t waiting, and would land, peck a crumb of bread, and flap off again, right in front of us.  This being more than the cat, Albus the Gay, could bear to watch, the girls relented and let him out on the deck with us.

This shortly lead to a predictable round of song about “who let the cat out, who, who, who,” which was mercifully brief, and then morphed into a description of how the birds view the large, lazy, 20+ pound cat.

“They think he’s the wind!”

“They think he’s the oncoming storm!”

“No,” says the 10-yr-old Reigning Queen of Pink, “he’s the oncoming chubby!”

SOBUMD and I dissolved in laughter.  “Wait,” quoth she, “I saw one of those already this morning!”  For my part, I think “The Oncoming Chubby” is the best name for a band I’ve ever heard.  We’re still snickering.  The girls, again mercifully, don’t know why.


Morning lulz

26 June, 2011 | | No Comment

So there we were, sitting on the back deck enjoying my coffee and watching the birds – just me and Albus the Gay. Flitwick isn’t allowed outside – he’ll jump over the rail and run. Albus is a little too large to get over the rail, and not inclined to run.

Soon we were joined by Number One Son, who while noisy was at least calm. We sat out for a little longer, then NOS decided to see who else was awake – by which he usually means, wake them up, which I admonished him not to do.

He returned in a few minutes and explained his findings. “I think Mommy has short-term amnesia.”

“What? Why’s that?”

“Well, I told her that you were sitting on the deck drinking your coffee, and then I told her that Albus was with you, and then she told me to go find you. She’d already forgotten that I told her where you were! It must be low-grade amnesia.”

Yep. Must be.

On the Golden Globes

17 January, 2011 | | 3 Comments

I was about to mention that even my cat is going to bed tonight dreaming of Natalie Portman, and then I remembered that he’s from Texas and he’s probably dreaming of Eva Longoria, and then I remembered that we call him Albus the Gay, and he’s probably dreaming of Johnny Depp.  And who can blame him?

The other cat, Professor Flitwick, is dreaming of Halle Berry, and I’m sure it’s Number One Son dreaming of Queen Padme Amidala of Naboo – although he was irritated to find out that her new movie (A) has nothing to do with Star Wars and (B) isn’t going to show up on his personal Netflix list for a LONG time. 

I’d like to thank the Academy.  I’d better finish that screenplay, so they can vote for me and I can kiss whoever presents the award.  Halle, Eva, Johnny Depp – I’m not picky.

Who’s daddy’s little idiot?

2 November, 2010 | | No Comment

I find it highly amusing that when I yell, “You Idiot!” around here, both cats assuming I’m talking to them.  None of the kids do.  Obviously healthy, well developed egos. 

Also obviously, highly trainable cats.  Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

thought of evil_mom

17 April, 2009 | | No Comment

Saw this, one person jumped to mind.  ;-)