We’re Gonna Default in the Morning (Left Us In the Lurch This Time)

I know, I was doing the whole Shutdown Countdown thing, but I got furloughed.  Luckily, I’ve declared myself essential personnel, and I’ve brought you, yes, no, that’s right – another song.  You know the tune.  And now look – I sang the last one.  You know you don’t want me to do that again, so […]

Shutdown, Day 4: Frank Sinatra was a Monkey’s Uncle

“Someone told me it’s all happening at the zoo. I do believe it, I do believe it’s true.” – Simon and Garfunkel, 1967 04 October 2013, Washington D.C.: As the US Federal Government continues to bicker about whether John Boehner and Barack Obama are both actually the biological sons of Frank Sinatra, the National Zoo […]

Shutdown, Day 3: The Monkeys Have the Phone Box

“If ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con,’ what is the opposite of progress?” – Paul Harvey 03 October 2013, Washington D.C.: As the US Federal Government continues to bicker about how many toppings they want on their healthcare reform, the National Zoo finds itself in the cross-hairs, forced to feed the animals in their care […]

Shutdown, Day 2: Fiscal Constraints Impact National Zoo

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. – Mark Twain 02 October 2013, Washington D.C.: As the US Federal Government continues to bicker about the budget, twerking, Obamacare, and whether Miley Cyrus would make a better ambassador to North Korea than Dennis Rodman, the National […]

Wake Me Up When the Shutdown Ends

OK, with all due respect, rights, and mad props to Green Day, I present for your reading and humming along pleasure my cheerful filk on one of their best songs. You can just please read, hum, and pretend you’re hearing Billie Jo Armstrong bitch at Congress.  (And not, you know, me.) Lyrics:  The fiscal year […]