ManFAQ Friday: Nice Wheels

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?

Question: What is it with the muscle cars?  Are you really compensating for something? 

Answer:   As much as I’d like to say, no, we’re not…  Yes, we are.  But it’s not what you think!

We’re compensating for not being able to wear swords and six-guns anymore, for the lack of that feeling of righteous power coursing through our veins when we heft the battle club and look our enemy in the eye.  We’re supplanting the sensation of superiority we used to claim by being muscle-bound manly men with the visceral vroom of an overloud engine.  Not me, mind you, I drive a, well, let’s not talk about that, but anyway I understand.

We’re compensating for a bygone time, when men were men, danger and honor were synonymous, and respect was still measured in who’s was longer.  Now, we’re settling for who’s is louder.

Besides, why do I keep seeing women, many of them 100 lbs or less, driving H3 Hummers or Jeeps that could crush my pimped-up Subaru Outback like a Matchbox toy?  What are they compensating for?

Could it be that cars that goes vroomvrooom all low and growly-like are just cool?  Maybe they are, maybe they are.  Maybe I’ll go buy one tomorrow.  I’ll let you know.


Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at –!

5 Responses to “ManFAQ Friday: Nice Wheels”

  1. You’re not compensating. Cars that go vroomvroom all low and growly-like are really just cool.

    Cars that rumble into a fat, lolloping idle that shakes you in time to the lumpy cam are even cooler.

    Then, if you want to feel the righteous power, open up the headers and let ‘er rip. Let it vibrate through your bones, set off all the car alarms in a 3-block radius, and maybe even register on the Richter scale. Bliss! (I don’t think I’m compensating for anything…)

    To be picky, I’d suggest that this is a non-gender-specific CarNutFAQ, but it’s probably equally incomprehensible to the uninitiated. Thanks for providing vital insight, as usual. :-)

  2. @Diane, I think my friend Kim just fell in love with you a little! ;-)

  3. As an owner of 2 cars that goes vroomvroom all low and growly-like, and one ‘that rumble[s] into a fat, lolloping idle that shakes you in time to the lumpy cam’, I can assure you I’m not compensating for anything. I am however giving the middle finger to all the self righteously indignant, “you should live like…”, warning sticker making, lawsuit happy folks out there that have made insurance premiums laughable, the earth a dead planet, and soon, “the land of the free” a slogan for advertising peanut butter, not declaring personal rights.

    Tire smoke at 5:30pm….see ya then.

    P.S. Diane…. want a ride in a car that goes vroomvroom all low and growly-like, and one ‘that rumble[s] into a fat, lolloping idle that shakes you in time to the lumpy cam’??? :)

  4. LOL, whoa there! Down boy!

  5. Thanks anyway, @Kim. Got a ’53 Chev I’m getting ready to make all low and growly-like, and a ’69 ‘Stang Mach 1 for the rumble and shake. I’m good for now.

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