Birthday After-Action Report: Screw the Song!

Oh God, here we go.

You have to understand, there are whole minutes at a time when we forget that Number One Son is different.  The big pharmaceutical companies do their jobs well, and he does great on his meds, and he can go for just minutes and minutes without straying too far from the bounds of what society considers “normal.”  He’s in public school, and he’s not just succeeding, he’s excelling.  It’s great.

But he is not, in fact, like most people, and he really doesn’t care about what society considers “normal.”  Not even a bit.  Just wouldn’t occur to him.  And at home, when his meds have worn off, we’re all good with that – this is his safe zone, and it’s all a constructive training exercise for the real world. 

Just when I thought I’d seen everything, it’s time for cake.  Due to a rolling birthday dinner, early presents, and late icing – to look like a chess board, as requested – the cake was the last part of the festivities; the dinner was long gone and the presents were long opened.  On with the cake!  On with the candles!  1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-and-one-to-grow-by!  Two quick matches and I have 12 candles lit, lights out, and the rest of us – SOBUMD, the RQoP, the Human Tape Recorder, and myself – begin to sing.

Group, singing:  Happy Birthday to You!
Number One Son, speaking:  Screw the song.
Group, singing:  Happy Birthday to You!
Number One Son, Yelling:  Screw The Song!
Group, singing:  Happy Birthday…
Number One Son, blowing:  Whfffffffffffffffffffffff!  [blows out all the candles]
Group:  Uh…
Number One Son:  Well, I SAID screw the song.
Group, recovering:  Happy Birthday to yoooooooooooooooooooooooooou!

We laughed our asses off.  In my entire 42 years on this planet, I have never seen someone blow the damn candles out on their cake before the song was over.  It didn’t occur to me that you could do that.  I just would never have thought of it.   

We’ll never get through another birthday without laughing like loons.  “Screw the Song!” just became the cake-hungry rallying cry of the rest of my kids. 

Of course, the HTR had the last word:  “Well, it’s not like we can carry much of a tune…”

6 Responses to “Birthday After-Action Report: Screw the Song!”

  1. That us freaking hilarious.

  2. Just thinking that HTR has a point…..

  3. To be honest – I am with Number 1 Son. Screw the song. I’ve always hated it, hidden from it, requested it NOT be sung and grit my teeth these days when it is sung around me because I have a child. But my hatred of the song has more to do with the fact that it is just a bad song than anything else. :-) Good on him!

  4. LOVE! (and screw the song. let’s eat cake.)

  5. […] not the other way around, and so I’m looking forward to this evening’s episode of Screw the Song.   On with the […]

  6. […] 13.  Honestly, I think he’s as surprised as the rest of us.  Following the infamous episode of Screw the Song, we’ve learned to just press on and go straight for the cake – or in this case, […]

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