Big Ugly Man Doll

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?

Question:   Why are some guys so clueless?  Can he not see that she likes him?  Why doesn’t he notice her?  

Answer:   Yes, we’re clueless.  Most of us will admit it readily if asked.  We don’t get subtle hints.  We don’t even, usually, get very broad hints.  If she likes him, her best bet is to walk up to him, grab him by whatever article of clothing or appendage she’s comfortable grabbing, and telling him something like, “Oy, you!  I like you.  Let’s get to know each other better,” and take things from there.  You’d save yourselves weeks of wondering and thinking and all that.  If he’s made eye contact with you more than twice, he probably has noticed you and he just doesn’t want you to catch him staring, or he thinks you must already be in a relationship since you’re cute, or he’s worried that you’ll kill him for talking to you, or more likely that the 17 other ladies you walk around with will turn on him like the maenads, transformed by his nerve in suddenly speaking to you that they switch to ‘raving’ mode, lose their self-control, start shouting excitedly, and then ritualistically hunt him down and tear him to pieces, devouring his raw flesh — and not in a good way. 

Yes, we think like that.  Big groups of women still make us nervous.  Most mythology has its roots in history. 

Anyway, so it’s that, or he’s just a big dumb lug.  Don’t be subtle, he won’t get it.  Hit him with a bat and get his attention. 

Now you know.  Please, feel free to comment!  Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!

Tags: Children // 2 Comments »