Not all the days are filled with joy
Yesterday was just annoying. The whole damn day was irritating. I was going to post a nice shiny recap of the month, but the day got away from me, and I’m ranting instead. Mondays, bah.
It started with getting up, which wasn’t very nice, and then rolled into showering, which you would think would have some satisfying naked bits. But you would be wrong. The water from the shower just fell from the nozzle limp and as bored as a teenager at a wedding, and it fell at just that never-quite-as-hot-as-you-wanted temperature, vacillating between tepid and scalding. A Rahm Emanuel of showers. I got out as soon as I could.
I woke the kids up after that, and at 8, 10, and tweenager you can imagine what a fun job that is. Like little unlit bulbs, they were all simply delighted to arise and face the day.
Dropping the younger two off at their respective schools reminded me of the article I read recently that explained in no uncertain terms that it’s always the moms who deal with the schools, which annoyed the holy crap out of me. (It’s true, all of the crap in me that was holy has now gone. I am left only with damned crap, which I suppose comes as a surprised to no one at all.) Besides, if the memory of that bit wasn’t enough to chafe my delicate psyche, getting through two elementary school Kiss-n-Rides is enough to get Francis of Assisi to think seriously about gun laws and waiting periods. How hard is it to move forward 20 feet toward the entrance when there are no fewer than four people waving you forward? The 2nd Grader gets it, but not the driver. And yes, it was a guy.
Eventually I made it to the office, where I asked one of the clients if they wanted me and two of my co-workers to dial into our standing 10am meeting, or to drive over and attend in person. “Please attend the 10am in person.” So we trundle over to the client’s building at 3 minutes before 10, nod hello as we walk past the client’s open office door where they’re talking about the project, and wait in the conference area.
For 22 minutes.
“OK, let’s get started.” We were done in 8 minutes.
I’m just sayin’, is all.
On the way back we stopped at Dunkin Donuts, which is not, in fact, Starbucks. If you haven’t had their coffee, imagine the most mundane-tasting coffee you’ve ever had from McDonalds, then make it hotter. No no, hotter than that. To say I’m not a fan is an understatement. One of my co-workers picked up a dozen holes with jelly in them, which was decidedly a high point of the day – which was dashed when I tried one when we got back to the office and found that by “jelly in them” what they meant was “jelly near them” and not, you know, jelly filled. Still, nice of her.
The day did not get better. Unrequited emails went unanswered, phones didn’t ring, and another co-worker tried to warm up his lunch in the toaster. Which was a problem, since he was having soup.
I wish I were making this up.
The high point of the day was eating dinner in front of the television watching clips of old “Whose Line is it Anyway” skits. Oh, that Ryan Stiles! He’s so tall and dreamy.
The kids went to bed as cheerfully as they got up, which is saying something, and rather than do anything that could be accidently productive, so did I. Monday. You can have it.
Now with that irritating Monday 3 hours behind me, I can put it in perspective. I can recast yesterday in my mind, find the good parts and … Nah. It sucked. Hopefully the week gets better, for me and for you, Gentle Reader.
i’m afraid that due to original sin, you never had any holy crap in you. sorry.
Ugga, I must now label such heresy as contrary to my beliefs concerning my colon. You risk becoming an aprostate!