Talk to the chocolate

24 January, 2011 | | 10 Comments

The Reigning Queen of Pink was very upset tonight, and it devolved upon me to find out why.  Since she’s allergic to chocolate and her older sister had made brownies earlier, this wasn’t really going to be a tough one. 

I’ll digress here a moment: the brownies were dessert for the older two; the RQoP has her very own “chocolate pudding pops” that she had for an after dinner amuse bouche.  SOBUMD makes these from bananas, avocados, agave nectar, carob powder, sea salt, and almond milk – and regardless of how that might sound, I assure you that they are, in fact, delicious.  If you can’t have chocolate, this is a frozen heaven on a stick – plus you can have it for breakfast! 

But no matter how good it is, the bottom line is that it tastes almost, but not completely, unlike chocolate brownies.  Really, only chocolate brownies taste like chocolate brownies, and the Human Tape Recorder made these from scratch.  (The only direction she asked for was “single recipe or double?”  Atta girl.)  So, the RQoP went upstairs not crying but certainly teary-eyed, and refusing to talk.  To her credit, she didn’t ask – at this point, she knows the answer.  Life is tough, and hers is often tougher than most, so I give her a lot of props for not asking, and not just wailing. 

So I followed her up to tuck her in and try to jolly her a little, and remind her that she’s not alone in having allergies a little, and jolly her a little more.  We had a brief discussion about the likely ability of the cat on her bed to eat her (high), and then I thought I’d try opening with a Socratic parable. 

BUMD:  “Do you like strawberries?” 
RQoP:  “Hmmmph.”
BUMD:  “No, really, do you like them?”
RQoP:  “Cut up with sugar on.”
BUMD:  “Oh yes.  Do you know, when I cut up strawberries for you and put sugar on them, I would love to eat one.  Did you know that?  I cut them up for you, and they smell so good, and they look so good, and I’d love to just pop just one of them in my mouth and eat it.  But I don’t.  Do you know why?”
RQoP:  “Hmmmph.”
BUMD:  “Because I’m allergic to strawberries.  They’re not good for me, no matter how good they look or smell.  But I still cut them up for you.”
RQoP:  “Why don’t you just sneak just one?”
BUMD:  “Because I’m allergic – they’re not good for me.”
RQoP:  “Why are you telling me this?  You should talk to your pediatrician!”

Oh, snap.  No, I should talk to my therapist.  At least she got a good laugh in before bed!  In the meantime, if you have a recipe for egg-free, dairy-free, soy-free, corn-free, carob brownies, I’m all ears.

  1. Lisa says:

    I can do the carob, soy-free, corn-free and dairy-free. Not sure I can subtract the egg. Can she have flour?

  2. Lisa says:

    And tell her this comes from someone who couldn’t have chocolate until she was 17 and still get sick sometimes, but eat it anyway – sometimes you DO grow out of the chocolate allergy. Well, mostly grow out of it.

  3. admin says:

    If you get me that far, I can fake the egg. Wheat has been on-again off-again, but right now yes, wheat is back on the menu. (And we have what the HTR calls our Flour Museum for when it needs to be non-wheat.) And thanks for the good words – I’ll let her know!

  4. Jennifer Kilburne says:

    Not a terribly hard google search actually.Who knew? Put the HTR on testing duty.

  5. Jennifer Kilburne says:

    And you know what? I am 1000% with the RQoP here. Speaking as the child of a hippie-wanna-be who honestly thought she could substitute carob for chocolate (for two whole damn years of my young life, Christ, I think I’m having flashbacks…) and that we wouldn’t notice, carob is not chocolate. You cant just take some brown stuff and call it chocolate. I’m just saying…

  6. Inappropriate Girl says:

    Thanks for the recipe! So close, and yet so far. Alas, carob chips have corn in them. Fuckers. I’ll try it without.

    As for the chocolate, I wish. It’s a food group for me. It gives her a stomach ache. Since it’s not a true food allergy, we’re kinda stuck. She has an endoscopy coming up next month and I really don’t want to mess her up before that. Eosinophilic esophagitis is a weird thing. BUMD always says that if strawberries gave him hives he’d eat them anyway. Since they close his throat, that’s not such a good option. Chocolate causes damage to her esophagous. I have no idea what the long tems effects may be. So we substitute, albeit unhappily at times.

  7. michelle says:

    oh, I do feel bad for my sweet girl-it is a hard thing. Nice touch telling her about the strawberries, and I love her response! She’s got spunk!

  8. Jennifer Kilburne says:

    what? why is there anything besides carob in a carob chip?I don’t understand…

  9. Jennifer Kilburne says:

    Voila, corn free carob chips! You just have to make em yourself…(and leave out the peppermint I suppose)

    HOMEMADE MINT CAROB CHIPS (gluten free, vegan)

    adapted from Sally Fallon’s “Nourishing Traditions”
    yield: approx 1 – 1 1/2 c chips
    1/2 c coconut oil
    1/2 c roasted carob flour
    1 T agave syrup
    1-2 t peppermint flavor, to taste

    1. Melt coconut oil, and mix in flour, agave, and peppermint flavor.
    2. Line small pan with wax paper or saran wrap, and pour in oil mixture.
    3. Cool in refrigerator until solid. Remove from pan, and cut into chips of desired size.
    4. Store in a cool place in a jar until ready to use.

  10. admin says:

    @Jennifer: That’s it, we’re adopting you.

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