A Very Happy Solstice to You All

Call it Brumalia, Christmas, Maidyarem, D?ngzhì, Hanukkah, Inti Raymi, Meán Geimhridh, M?draniht, Shab-e Chelleh, ?ewy Yelda, Soyalangwul, Yule, or Ziemassv?tki – The Solstice has been many things to many people for many, many years. Tonight is the longest night of the year; tomorrow will bring a victory of light over darkness and the rebirth of the sun. Mithra will be born again at the end of this night, the crops will grow, Father Christmas will ride his yule goat, and Beiwe and her daughter will ride again to herald back the greenery on which the reindeer feed. We will cover our doorposts with butter, sprinkle our faces with the blood of goats, eat ourselves silly, dance the Horo, and generally get roaring drunk.

Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 5

This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that make me barf a bit, the ones you know you’re supposed to love, but really you’d rather wait for Justin Bieber’s balls to drop than sit through them on the radio again – you know the kind I mean.

Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 6, with bonus Nattering Nabobs of Nativity!

This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that make me barf a bit, the ones you know you’re supposed to love, but really you’d rather vote for Spiro T. Agnew than sit through them on the radio again – you know the kind I mean.

Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 7

This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that make me barf a bit, the ones you know you’re supposed to love, but really you’d rather pinch a loaf than sit through them on the radio again – you know the kind I mean.

Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 8

This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that make me barf a bit, the ones you know you’re supposed to love, but really you’d rather put $379,546,725 on your Mastercard than sit through them on the radio again – you know the kind I mean.