Big Ugly Man Doll

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?

Question:  Why does the waitress always seem to give you the check?

Answer:   This is a tough one to answer, since it involves the ManFAQ trying to get into the mind of the waitress.  This is not the part of the waitress that we have a lot of practice trying to get into.  So, we will resort to baseless speculation.

I have to assume that a good old fashioned waitress will think that most men are eager to pay for dinner so that they can look chivalrous and prove that they are, or can be, good providers.  Of course, we want to do this because if you think we can be a good provider, you will consider us more favorably when deciding on a life-mate.  Since most guys are incapable of differentiating between “deciding on a life-mate” and “looking for some Hey Hey later tonight,” we perceive this as a right-now decision that we’re hoping to influence. 

And so the waitress will look at him, look at you, and make a snap judgment about who’s side she’s on, and who’s more likely the better tipper.  She knows that by giving him the check, he will think that the waitress is trying to help attach his harness and carabineer onto the Hey Hey zipline, and he will usually pay extra for that.  If the waitress herself is good looking, he’ll probably tip a little extra on top of that, in case things don’t work out with you.

You, on the other hand, probably won’t tip her more just for being liberated enough to hand you the check, or for looking like she’s about to spill out of the silly uniform they make the waitstaff wear.  So there’s a good chance that she’s handing him the check based on an unconscious cost-benefit analysis that tells her “he can pay, and he’ll pay me for it.”

Now you know. Please, feel free to comment with any questions you’d like answered!

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