Big Ugly Man Doll

Thanksgiving is a time for making lists of those things for which we are thankful, and this year is no exception. Without further ado, a short list of things for which I am thankful:

• I am thankful for my health, without which I would need to actually pay attention to all this Obamacare stuff.
• I am thankful for my wide and extended family and friends, some of whom still read this once in a while despite the lack of updates.
• I am thankful for my kids, who still find ways to make me say “Huh?”
• I am thankful beyond measure for SOBUMD, without whom I would still be pumping gas in Hope, Arkansas.
• I am thankful for my job, without which I wouldn’t have any reasons to get good and angry about things, which considering my low blood pressure is one of the few things keeping me alive on a week to week basis.
• I am thankful for Thomas the Tank Engine, who was finally fished out of the subwoofer the other day, after about 8 years. We’d wondered where the hell that thing had gone.
• I am thankful for beer, more than I can ever say.
• I am thankful for being a middle-aged, middle-class white guy in America right now. Guilty, and sometimes nauseous, but thankful. My life is not easy, but it is not hard.
• I am thankful for ridiculous password requirements, which provide me an excuse to type really vile swearwords in the office every morning.
• I am thankful for coffee, for many of the same reasons as beer, but in the morning.
• I am thankful for all the assholes in the world, who make the few really nice people stand out in sharp relief. If you’re not casting a shadow, think about which group you’re in.

And finally, I am thankful for ducks, without which I would have to cook and eat another damn turkey today.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and all of yours!

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