Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 9

17 December, 2011 | | No Comment

I’m not taking any time off over the holidays this year.  Most of the folks I work with assume that this is because of my diligence, my leadership, and the fact that the office can’t get along without me.

In fact, I’m not taking any time off so they don’t find out that they’re wrong on every count.

But this isn’t about that.  This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that make me barf a bit, the ones you know you’re supposed to love, but really you’d rather get jolly with some holly than sit through them on the radio again – you know the kind I mean.   Today’s exercise in holiday “huh?” came to us first from Bur Lives, no no no, that’s Burl Ives (sorry, kerning, you know), and has been remade by everyone from Alan Jackson to his older brother, Michael Jackson. 

Now don’t get me wrong.  It’s a nice little song.  The music is upbeat, cheerful, and evinces a smile-though-your-pain attitude that even the Dali Lama would appreciate.  It’s the 60’s culture references, with sex and drugs and swinging that make me wonder. 

I don’t know if there’ll be snow, but have a cup of cheer:  Obviously, if you can’t score some cocaine, bust out a 40 and we’ll do some shots.
Say hello to friends you know / and EVERYONE you meet:  Can you say tweaker, boys and girls?  Betcha can!
Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me:  She’s waiting for you.  Kiss her, then tell her, “And this one’s for Burl Ives,” and then kiss her again.  Do you remember what he looked like?  Do you know what he looks like now?  And you think this will get you laid for Christmas?  Doubt it. 

Go ahead.  It doesn’t really suck, just more of a general “Huh.  What were they thinking?”  I’ll be over here, figuring out how to get my buns on the copier without having to jump up there.


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