Big Ugly Man Doll

It’s Friday, and answer time doesn’t wait just because it’s Black Friday!  I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving, for those of you who celebrated such yesterday, and that everyone had a wonderful day yesterday, for those of you who don’t. 

For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?

Question:   Why do you all seem to lose your minds for long hair?

Answer:    This is hard-wired into our subcortex from the caveman days, the blood of bears welling up in our unconscious as we notice your long tresses cascading down your shoulders.   That wonderful long hair tells our caveman selves that you’re healthy and well fed, that your body is in decent enough shape to make babies. 

The sight of long, strong hair falling halfway down your back tells some part of him to grab it and drag you back to the cave – which is of course confusing to the rest of him, since he can’t remember where the cave is anymore, or where he parked the mammoth.  This leads to a conflicting set of instructions from the front of his mind, which is telling him to introduce himself in a proper 21st Century fashion, and the back of his mind, which is telling him to hit you over the head and drag you off.  As a result, his mouth is trying to form the words, “Do you live around here often,” and “Ugga!” at the same time, and what usually comes out is “Dywuuhh he hi, um, Hi.”  

Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!