“Hasten, Jason! Bring the basin!”

13 October, 2011 | | 1 Comment

Mark Twain once mentioned that stories requiring no embellishment or embroidery were very rarely worth the retelling, and while I cannot disagree with the great man in the general case, I find that his adage breaks down in the specific.  To wit, evidence the email SOBUMD and I sent to the school of Number One Son this evening, which I will copy here in its entirety.

To: <the teachers of Number One Son>
From: <SOBUMD and myself>
Date: 10/13/2011
Subject: Vomit

Number One Son mentioned this evening that earlier today he felt as though he were going to vomit, but that he had “worked through it.”  He went on to mention that when he brought this up to whomever he was with, he felt ignored.  We would like you to be very aware that should Number One Son tell you that he feels that he may throw up, he is well versed and practiced in this endeavor, and is very likely to regurgitate forthwith and without regard to circumstance or location.  Should this matter come up in the future, we strongly recommend handing the boy a bucket and sending him to the nurse.  She can vouch for this recommendation.
 
Yours in health,
 
SOBUMD/BUMD

1 comment
  1. Anonymous Custard says:

    … or at least allowing him to make the run to the mens’ room.

    Hopefully your number-one-son doesn’t go to a school where they’d make him clean up his own biological spills with substandard equipment at best.

    On a similiar note, hope that he’s feeling better.

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