Time Suck of the Week

 TSoW this week is brought to you by the kind folks at Gawker – not, in particular, their writers, but the people leaving comments.  OMG.

This is, before you clickey clickey to start your Monday off right, NSFW.  I don’t say that because your boss might walk by and see oral references that s/he’s never seen before – after all, that’s an opportunity for promotion, gender notwithstanding – but rather because you’re probably reaching for your coffee as you read this, and there’s a good chance that you’ll have to make something up when you call tech support after spitting your drink all over the desk, keyboard, and monitor.  

Why?  Because we’ve all read Cosmo once or twice, because we are now or have been (a) teenage girls unable to afford makeup AND magazines at the same time, or (b) teenage boys unable to buy porn because my older cousin is out of town.  Or you’re metro, or married, or both.  Whatever.  You read it and you loved it, because it gave you a new meaning for “craptastic.”

Anyway, the kind folks at gawker noted that Cosmo had listed ten of the magazine’s most common “boundary-pushing moves” and had asked a collection of New York men how they felt about the sex tips.  Gawker then had its resident “sexpert” review the list.  The best part is not this review.  The best part is reading the comments on the post.   The 124 comments on the post. 

These are the people who bring us such faux Comso sex tips as “Craft a thong teddy of out tampons. He won’t be able to resist the cottony softness! And you can use it to soak up the wet spot later.”   And, “Right before he enters you, throw a bucket of orange juice on him and then roll him in woodchips. He’ll love the sensation of all that stingy citrus on his already sensitive skin!” 


It’s like a train wreck you can’t stop reading.  It’s certainly the Time Suck – and I use that word advisedly! – of the Week.

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