Big Ugly Man Doll

First, we doff our propeller beanie hats at the passing of one of the greats, perhaps the last of the dinosaurs.  Hard core science fiction has known giants, and Arthur C. Clarke, who died on Wednesday at the age of 90, was one of the last of the greats, upon whose shoulders I am not worthy to stand.  Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, and Frank Herbert were the other three of the four pillars supporting all who came after and will come heretofore.  The stars take no notice, but every satellite in geosynchronous orbit is hanging just a little lower in the sky this week.  “Absolutely no religious rites of any kind, relating to any religious faith, should be associated with my funeral” were the instructions he left, so it’s a shame that (the also late and lamented) Kurt Vonnegut isn’t still here to inject some levity with a line like he used to eulogize Asimov: “Well, Arthur is up in Heaven now.” 

Next, a recent CDC report stated that just over one in four teenage girls has an STD.  If you’re a girl between the ages of 13 and 19, talk to your three best friends.  If they’re all clean, you just might be a skanky ho.  Talk to your doctor.

Finally, a new statement attributed to al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden condemns European countries for a change.  The strident condemnation was for siding with the US in Afghanistan and for allowing the publication of cartoons considered insulting to Islam’s prophet, Mohammed.  The net effect was to ensure that bin Laden’s death will precipitate a new EU holiday as well as a national holiday in the United States.

Stay tuned for more news: as it happens, when it happens, whatever happened, and pass the beer nuts.

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