Big Ugly Man Doll

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?

Question:   Why do men always think they’re right / assume they’re right / and need to be right?

Answer:   I don’t know what you’re talking about.  I can’t believe you would even say that; how could you ask such a question?  Surely our devotion to absolute objectivity, veracity, and perspicaciousness is notorious – we could never stoop to less than 100 percent certainty.   (Is it her or is it me?  It’s her, isn’t it?) 

Right.  OK, this is hard for some people to understand, and it’s not just women, and it’s not ALL guys.  Some people are really, really sure of themselves.  Sometimes, that surety pervades the inner lining of their brains and leaks into the infallibility chamber, which is (of course) the source of all certainty.  This ability to believe so completely in our own rightness is actually a survival skill; when you exude confidence, many people will stop questioning you and just do what you tell them.   (Things like, “You need to invest in my hot dog stand,” or “Turn left here,” or “Put the gun down.”  Trust me that this is a survival skill.)  Of course we’re right.  If we didn’t think we were right, we’d never get away with anything accomplish anything noteworthy. 

And yes, because you asked, of course this comes up – along with everything else – in the pursuit of Hey Hey.  “Don’t worry about it.”  “You look great tonight.”  “It’ll be fine.”  He sounds like he believes it, and he seems so confidant, doesn’t he? 

After a while, we’ve spent so long using this technique of projecting our confidence around to get what we want that some guys start licking their own ice cream cone and believe it themselves.  It’s worked so well on everyone else that it’s now working on themselves, and it’s hard to stop because that involves both thinking, which we’re not really great at, and introspection, which most of us think is something you need to go to the doctor and get shots for. 

And you don’t need to do any more research on this topic, because I am, as we both know, the final arbitrator of truth and good taste on the internet – and I’m always right.  Just ask me! 

Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!

Tags: Children // 3 Comments »