Stories from all over

Just when you think you can’t find another use for your kids, I heard this from my friend a few days ago:

It’s always a challenge to live with a high-powered, high-functioning ADHD-type in your life, but sometimes these people can be useful to have around!

For example, I got pulled over, I assume for speeding, the other day. When the police officer came up to my car, I rolled down the window. Before either of us could say anything, the Very Noisy Six-Year-Old in the back started.

I use the term started because there’s no other way to describe what he does.

“Is that a real gun? Does it have real bullets? Have you killed people? Can I watch you shoot something? Are you really a policeman? Do you have a badge? Are you the same policeman who came to my school? Is that a real gun? Are you going to shoot my Daddy? Can I watch you shoot something? Do you have a badge?”

The poor cop is just standing there, mouth open, as he listens to the machine-gun questions coming at full volume from the back seat, peppering him with interogatives like a pillbox laying down cover fire in the battle of Verdun. I gave him my best “please shoot me” look.

“You can go. Uh, try to slow it down a little. But, um, you can just go.”

I was tempted at this point to say something like, “No, I think I want to see you shoot something first.”

The VN six-year-old got an ice cream cone, and he doesn’t even know why. I might tell him, when he’s older, and if I ever get a word in.

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