Big Ugly Man Doll

So there I was this morning, getting ready for work with Number One Son – the two of us being the only ones awake.  I’d used the upstairs shower, which is right next to his room, so I woke him up for a change.  After a quick breakfast, I was ready to slip out the door and get to work a little early.   I had an important meeting today, so I was in my good suit, my long wool coat, and my best hat.  Before I left, I walked back into the kitchen, struck a pose, gave him a wink, and asked Number One Son “How do I look?”

Vanity, thy name is BUMD.

He looked me up and down, slowly, as though making a judicious assessment of my shoes, suit, coat and hat, and my ability to match them.  He looked me straight in the eye, smiled, and said, “You look like an asshole in a suit.”

I cracked up, wondered what movie it was from, and decided that I didn’t want to know.  I reflected on the fact that if I’d even thought of saying something like that to my father, I’d’ve been thinking about what a bad idea that had been from several days in the future, since I’d’ve been knocked into next week.  As it was, I thanked him for the reality check and headed to the office.

The best part was coming home later, I decided I really did want to know where he’d heard the line, and asked him.  “No, I just said that because I was angry that you’d woke me up.”

“OK, that was still funny, but now you’re grounded.”

That’s me, the asshole in the suit.

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