A Aaargh! Quiet back there! B Both of you, be quiet! C Christ, will you stop talking while I’m on the phone? D Damnit, I said be quiet! E Echoes are for canyons, which is where I’m going to throw you if you don’t stop talking! F For the love of God, shut up! G […]
To cap off a fairly odd week, I dropped off the 5-yr-old Reigning Queen of Pinkness, Duchess of Fluff, and High Protector of Barbies at her pre-K class this morning. Needless to say, the hordes of moms, milfs, and nannys did not spare second glances for the BigUglyManDoll – after all, that’s why I’m the […]
I’m making my diurnal rounds, ensuring the brushing of teeth, the changing of clothes, and the getting to beds, when the voice of Number 2 daughter echoes faintly from the mountain of pink fluff she uses as a bed. Not unexpectedly, she would like a story. Having neither the energy nor the voice for a […]
I’m always loath to call her Number Two Daughter. First, she might take it awry. Second, Number One Daughter already lords it over her siblings on being eldest. And Third, well, she might take it awry – and I’m a little scared of her. She’s fierce. (For those who might not know, it is in […]
“Run for your lives!” shouted the Barbie… As I’m putting Annalise to bed, she tells me she wants me to tell her a story. I start in with the “Once upon a time there was a little girl who went to bed…” and she interrupts me. “Not that story, Daddy! I want a story about […]