How my children learned their ABCs

19 December, 2007 | | No Comment
A Aaargh! Quiet back there!
B Both of you, be quiet!
C Christ, will you stop talking while I’m on the phone?
D Damnit, I said be quiet!
E Echoes are for canyons, which is where I’m going to throw you if you don’t stop talking!
F For the love of God, shut up!
G Goddammit, I thought I told you to be quiet!
H How many times do I have to tell you to be quiet?
I I’m sure I told you to be quiet!
J Jesus! Shut! Up!
K Kaconnannalaaaaaah! – stop it! Whichever one of you that is, just stop it!
L La la la la la la! Not listening!
M Mommy asked you to be quiet once. Mommy’s not going to ask again. Do I make myself clear?
N Now would be a good time for you to exercise your quiet muscles.
O Oh my God, if you don’t stop yelling I’m going to stop this car in the middle of this road and come back there and make you both very sorry!
P Please please please, be quiet.
Q Quiet!
R Really, is it that hard to just sit quietly for One Damn Minute?
S Shut up shut up shut up!!!
T Talking. Don’t.
U Unless you want to be grounded for the next 6 years, stay quiet.
V Very. Quiet. Do you understand me?
W Why can you not stay quiet?
X Xtremely. As in quiet.
Y You. Quiet. Now.
Z Zoloft. Why do you ask?

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