Big Ugly Man Doll

That the Reigning Queen of Pink, Grand Duchess of Fluff, and High Protector of Barbies would have genetic issues should come as no surprise; she intends to stand toe-to-toe and pink hairband to pink headband with any inbred European princess the old families care to name. Those who rule by divine right take no prisoners.

So, being the delicate thing that she is, we tend to cook around more food allergies than Julia Child could dream of. I have learned to make waffles from water, grape seed oil, and chilled CO2. Many of the recipes that we use come from very handy vegan cookbooks.

The other day I made pancakes: no wheat, no eggs, no dairy, no soy, no corn (and hence no corn starch), no chocolate, and no cinnamon. What was in them? Sorghum flour, rice flour, xanthan gum, vegetable oil, water, nutmeg, salt, baking soda. A nearly perfect vegan pancake.

Which I then cooked in bacon fat – I don’t need them to be vegan, I need them to be yummy. Om nom nom nom nom! Those who rule by divine right take no prisoners with their pancakes, either.

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