ManFAQ Friday: Pope Shmope

I know, Friday’s answer time at the ManFAQ, and I missed it.  I was busy doing manly things, honest.  Anyway, once again I don my manly mantle as Sage of the Sexes, helping demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler, as we add to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man.  Like the man said, “What could go wrong?”

Question:  Why is the Pope always a guy?  Don’t you think they’d have figured out by now that a woman would do a better job?  

Answer:  Issues with the Catholic Church letting women be priests aside, since we know the “strict” answer to the question, let me tell you this.  The Pope is supposed to be the voice of God on earth, the vicar of Christ Almighty, and the right hand man of the lord.  He’s the one with the hotline to heaven, with his finger on the ineffable pulse and the Holy Spirit on speeddial.  He’s the only subscriber to the Almighty Twitter feed, with the angels, all the saints, and the heavenly hosts on his Facebook friends list.

The Pope is a guy because the church doesn’t trust a women not to let slip to the boss how badly we’ve screwed up.  They keep electing men to the position because they’re confidant that a dude will keep “kind of forgetting” to bring up the whole bit about clergy abuse, or the fact that they haven’t let women be priests for 2000 years, or all that Inquisition business, when the boss checks in every week.  We’ve got Papal monthly reports that go back more than 1500 years, and they’re all pretty much, “Yep, doing OK here, let me know if you need help with anything up there.”

A women would change things too much for their liking.



Now you know.  Please, feel free to comment!  Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at –!  As always, your anonymity is guaranteed!






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