Big Ugly Man Doll

I think it’s time for me to come forward with this.  I was emotionally traumatized by Jamie Gibson, Jessica Gibson’s half-sister, before she started working for Rob Lowe. 

This was a difficult time in my past, but I need people to know the truth: The Gibson girls played me for a sucker, and now they’re doing it to Rob.  Their uncle, Mel, has always been jealous of Rob’s good looks – Mel got better roles, but Rob got all the babes. 

Of course, since Rob Lowe’s uncle is none other than US Senator Larry Craig, those family events could get testy, particularly when the Lowes had the Craigs over and the Gibson girls were working.  I was passing out towels left and right! 

But yes, sadly, little Jamie emotionally traumatized me by words and deeds, deeds to terrible to tell – I would not shock your virgin ears, nor sear your virgin eyes, dear reader, by describing the lurid and titillating details of my debasement at her hands – and feet, among other appendages.  Suffice it to say that I was, at a tender age, emotionally traumatized. 

Darn those Gibson girls!

Addendum:  

Dag-nabbit!  Here I was all happy that I’d worked in Mel Gibson and Larry Craig, and durned if I didn’t clean forget about Jessica and Jamie’s older sister Debbie.  After all, she’s having Rob Lowe’s two-headed love child!

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