Big Ugly Man Doll

The newly minted 9-yr-old is not in training to be a teenager. She’s in training to be 21.

She insisted that she would take her bath without fuss, if only I would please put several ice cubes into the warm water of the tub when it was full.

“Deal,” says I. In with the water, in with the kid, in with the ice cubes, out with the innocence. For the record, it has been a very long time since I was in 3rd grade. “I take it you’re studying the different properties of water in school, how it can go from a solid to a liquid to a gas all within average temperatures found on Earth?”

“No,” says she, “I like to pretend the bathtub is a big drink, like your margarita. I’m the lime!”

This cannot be healthy. I suppose I’m just glad she doesn’t want salt.

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