Making one thing perfectly clear…

29 August, 2007 | | No Comment

I was so completely taken aback by Senator Craig’s abject failure to resign with some modicum of dignity that I couldn’t help asking him about it. I interviewed him last night from the stall next to his in the public Men’s room in Union Station.

BUMD: “Senator, was your plea of guilty to the charge of lewd conduct in a men’s restroom an admission that you had, in fact, conducted yourself in a lewd fashion in a men’s restroom?”

Sen. Craig: “In pleading guilty, I overreacted … that overreaction was a mistake, and I apologize for my misjudgment.”

BUMD: “Senator, can you tell readers about your sexual habits while doing your best Nixon impression?”

Sen. Craig: “Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am not gay and never have been. The Idaho people have got to know whether or not their Senator is a homosexual. Well, I’m not a homosexual.”

BUMD: “Was the cop who busted you at least cute?”

Sen. Craig: “Oh yeah – he was definitely a credit to the force.”

BUMD: “Kinda gives new meaning to ‘copping a feel,’ doesn’t it?”

Sen. Craig: “In admitting that he looked good in his uniform, I overreacted. I overreacted because of the stress of your questioning me in this stall and the rumors it has fueled around this bathroom.”

BUMD: “So, he wasn’t cute?”

Sen. Craig: “Again, that overreaction was a mistake, and I apologize for my misstatement.”

BUMD: “Well, thanks for clearing the air in here, Senator.”

Sen. Craig: “My pleasure. You’re not as ugly as I expected, you Big Pretty Man Doll, you!”

BUMD: “Oh, pshaw.”

Sen. Craig: “Call me Daddy.”

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