I’m looking forward to having 2008 over and done with. Right now, I’ve decided that next year I will gather some of my larger friends and, with myself, create a pictoral manual of 300 yoga poses for fat guys drinking beer. Folks like us need exercise and stretching as well, but we need poses that won’t make us spill our beers. In 2009, I will fill this need – I so resolve.
And to all, a wonderful 2009, yoga or no!
So there we were, innocently gulping our drinks like grownups do, especially grownups with three kids who just won’t STAY IN THEIR DAMNED BEDS, because it’s after 8 PM. Or maybe just because it’s one of those special “drinking” days. You can tell those days – they end with the letter “Y”.
Anyway, SOBUMD was reading her board, when one of the shiny happy people there posted that she’d learned a new yoga position. The post included a picture, which SOBUMD called me over to view and which I sincerely hope was produced in Hollywood and does not depict an actual person, much less a friend of the Spouse Of a Big Ugly Man Doll. It’s called the “Pigeon Pose.”
After some quick research, I found out that this is actually really easy to do, even if you’ve never tried yoga before! First, cut off your right leg with a chainsaw. (Get a friend to tidy up the blood if you’re going to take pictures!) Then, lay on the floor flat on your belly, or as near flat as you can get if you’re built like I am. Last, tuck the dismembered leg under you, crosswise, with the foot on your left side (as pictured).
I’m pretty sure this was used in the Evil Dead Yoga / Step Dancing video. Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell couldn’t have come up with a better pose, except they might have used more blood for the photo-op. I think the first Evil Dead yoga position was the “Grasping Liberty Pose,” which we were supposed to hold for 60 seconds or until your larynx came out, whichever was first.
Sheesh. I like the “Stool Pigeon Pose” myself…