Big Ugly Man Doll

Our road trip ended the way it started, with a Waffle House. Our waitress was a dusky-eyed, tattooed beauty named Carol, and she clearly owns the place. Perhaps not literally, but she knew everyone on both sides of the counter, all the orders, all the drinks, and every word to every song I played on the jukebox. I’m not sure what a girl has to do to look “dusky-eyed” at 0730 in the morning, but she did it.

Tags: Children by Big Ugly Man Doll
2 Comments »

The imperative in the morning is to get food into Number One Son, so that he can have his medicine, which has been proven to dramatically increase the lifespan of children with his conditions, especially when driving long distances with them in the car.

Tags: Children by Big Ugly Man Doll
2 Comments »

“The two flames are the two people getting married, and they’re being married into a single new flame together, as a married unit – a single spiritual being in the eyes of god. Or, it may signify the bikini waxing the bride got yesterday for the wedding night.”

Tags: Children by Big Ugly Man Doll
No Comments »

It’s also easy to tell when your kids have been hanging out with their Grandfather – anything with an automated voice system, like a GPS, gets named Bitchin’ Betty. This stems from the early automated aviation advisory voices in Viet Nam-era aircraft (and continuing today) that would tell a pilot “Low on Fuel” or “Watch out for that Mountain.”

Tags: Children by Big Ugly Man Doll
No Comments »

Snow Crash is about computers and hacking; Fool is a game of Grand Theft Auto mashed up with Shakespeare at his pornographic best – medieval porn and gratuitous murder, yeah baby!

Tags: Children by Big Ugly Man Doll
No Comments »