Rosco P. Coltrane’s Last Case Taken Over by Jack Bauer

Jack Bauer drives a 1969 Dodge Charger named The Jay Edgar.

The Trouble With Genius

The activity was called High Ropes, but should really be called “Don’t Feel So Damn Smart NOW, Do Ya?” … … “Come on, it’s an IQ test! You can do it…” That’s when he let go of the other rope to grab the other other rope, with his other other hand. And the Go6G swung like a pendulum from his tethered harness, screaming like a girl.

Teaching Our Children (Not) To Swear

Let me say first that our kids know there are words they’re not supposed to use: The “S” word. The “F” word. The “D” word. Ann Coulter.

Easter

In theory, we’re celebrating a somber occasion marking the anniversary of the death of Jesus and his eventual resurrection. In practice, we’re dying eggs that come from chickens with inks that come from plants and telling kids they come from rabbits. Then we’re hiding the eggs, waking up and pointing out where the eggs are to those same kids so they can “find” them, and eating roasted pigs and chocolate candy.

New Lows in Demonology

Not long ago, it was discovered that even Big Ugly Man Dolls have birthdays. Now, I’m at what I call the “Cards and Laughter” age, which is when someone cards you buying booze and you burst into laughter. I’m not complaining, but I’ve noticed I don’t get carded when I have the kids with me. […]