High Occupancy

When the cop pulled me over in the HOV lanes, I explained that I had multiple personality disorder.

Everybody’s a critic

I can’t WAIT to be a grandfather. My kids are going to be SO frightened to bring their kids to Grandma and Grandpa’s house….

A Definition of Friendship

“Is this what friendship is like? A loss of interest and enjoyment in the things that you used to enjoy, unless your friend is with you?”

Take Me Where?

“I can feel your heart beat faster… / Take me home tonight / I don’t want to let you go ’til we see the light / Take me home tonight…”

I’m not out of touch…

“Yes,” said I, “I know the song Radioactive.” It turns out that I’m 30 years out of sync.