The kids have been arguing all morning.\u00a0 Sometimes I just tune it out unless there’s blood, and even then I’m likely to ask if it’s dripping or spurting before I intervene.\u00a0 Sometimes, however, I like to play the role of the activist Father Figure and try to negotiate a peace agreement, or at least restore some semblance of sanity and quiet.\u00a0 Today I decided to emerge from my cocoon and strike a well reasoned blow for order.<\/p>\n
I addressed the three of them, all standing in front of the door, facing each other.\u00a0 \u201cDo you all bicker and fight among yourselves all the time, or is it only when I\u2019m here?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
This was met with silence, so I repeated the question, looking at each of them in turn and trying to hold my \u201ctolerant but only for just so long Father\u201d look as best I could.\u00a0<\/p>\n
They agreed that it was all the time, it wasn\u2019t just when I was around.\u00a0 \u201cHow about if you play pretend?\u00a0 You could pretend that you\u2019re all friends.\u00a0 Or, barring that, you could pretend that you\u2019re all strangers who don\u2019t know one another, and try introducing yourselves and being polite.\u00a0 You, introduce yourself to her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Human Tape Recorder:\u00a0 \u201cHi.\u201d
\nReigning Queen of Pink:\u00a0 \u201cHi.\u201d
\nNumber One Son:\u00a0 \u201cPeace.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSee,\u201d said I, \u201cthat was easy.\u00a0 You can pretend to be strangers and speak politely to each other.\u201d<\/p>\n
HTR:\u00a0 \u201cActually, you told me never to talk to strangers.\u00a0 I think I\u2019d better follow that advice.\u201d\u00a0 And she pats me on the head and runs away.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Number One Son:\u00a0 \u201cEpic Fail, Dad.\u00a0 Epic Fail.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWait a minute\u2026\u201d\u00a0 But it was too late, and they were at least all laughing their butts off, so I declared victory and ceded the field.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cActually, you told me never to talk to strangers. I think I\u2019d better follow that advice.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[61,3,5,40,10],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=920"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":921,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920\/revisions\/921"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=920"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=920"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=920"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}