Operation Wedding:\u00a0 1200 Miles in 5 Days So there we were, exiting the Waffle House in Frederick, Md.\u00a0 Thus fortified, and for some of us thus horrified, we moved people and things into the rain and into the cars, and then moved things and people again, still in the rain, until we had a good sense that we\u2019d reached an equilibrium.\u00a0 This involved me, my sister, my father, and Number One Son in my father\u2019s car, and the rest of the girls in SOBUMD\u2019s minivan \u2013 with my mother driving, embracing her inner yuppie and indulging her need for speed.\u00a0 We followed along in the Toyota Sienna-sized hole left where the rain wasn\u2019t falling anymore as my mother created a tunnel of \u201cnot rain\u201d while trying to see if it would really hit 130 miles per hour.\u00a0<\/p>\n In the back seat of Dad\u2019s car, my sister was exchanging ideas with Number One Son, who having been fed was promptly medicated.\u00a0 One of these ideas was \u201cread a book,\u201d whereupon he mentioned not having a book in this car.\u00a0 She, of course, had a book in this car, in fact she had two to choose from \u2013 Neil Stephenson\u2019s Snow Crash, and Christopher Moore\u2019s Fool.\u00a0<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve never read either, I can recommend both.\u00a0 Are they \u201cappropriate\u201d for a 10-yr-old?\u00a0 Probably not \u2013 this just became a \u201clesser of two evils\u201d question.\u00a0 Right, Snow Crash \u2013 it\u2019ll hold his interest.\u00a0 She handed it to him and we lost him for about 30 minutes until he started giggling. \u00a0\u00a0\u201cWhat do you think of the book?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI like all the swear words!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n My sister wondered about my choice, which I maintain is still better than letting him read \u201cFool.\u201d \u00a0Snow Crash has conversational swearing.\u00a0 Fool uses it as an art form.\u00a0 Snow Crash is about computers and hacking; Fool is a game of Grand Theft Auto mashed up with Shakespeare at his pornographic best \u2013 medieval porn and gratuitous murder, yeah baby!\u00a0 At least he\u2019s reading.\u00a0 Me, it\u2019s email, email, email on the Blackberry \u2013 plus a great example of technology in action:\u00a0 Dad mentioned he\u2019d like to hear Pat Boone singing \u201cThe Old Rugged Cross\u201d and in 90 seconds it\u2019s coming off some YouTube hard drive in the ether, over an IP network, to a wireless network, down the airwaves to my Crackberry, and into sound in the car, with my Dad singing along \u2013 all at 75 miles an hour, in the driving rain.\u00a0 I love technology!<\/p>\n We collectively decided that we liked Ohio better than Maryland and Pennsylvania, because it wasn\u2019t raining in Ohio.\u00a0 They have sun there.\u00a0 Quite a relief.\u00a0 We drove past Youngstown, got to Twinsburg, and headed for the hot tub.\u00a0 After a dip, we retired to our rooms, I plugged in the McGuffin, er, Blackberry charger, and headed for the local restaurant.\u00a0 (There\u2019s only one.)\u00a0 \u00a0After some food at a table lit by the largest television screens known to man, we returned to the hotel.\u00a0 As we retired to our rooms, I determined that there was Scotch in the lobby.\u00a0 I bought one for SOBUMD, then let my dad know that there was Grandpa Juice available downstairs.\u00a0 He allowed as how he knew that, he and my sister having acquired same before<\/strong> we left for dinner.\u00a0 I mentioned the (low) price and was instructed in how the pros do it: \u201cYou gave them money?\u00a0 I just said \u201cRoom 425\u201d and we pressed on.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n Clearly, I don\u2019t stay at hotels often enough.\u00a0 Eager to test this new lesson, I went back downstairs and got another glass of Grandpa Juice, this time charging it to Room 425, just like he said.\u00a0 That I was in Room 423 was not really relevant.\u00a0<\/p>\n In the morning, we found something very much like breakfast, loaded everyone into the cars again, and pressed on.\u00a0<\/p>\n Next, miles 293-613 \u2013 Destination: That Toddling Town.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Snow Crash is about computers and hacking; Fool is a game of Grand Theft Auto mashed up with Shakespeare at his pornographic best \u2013 medieval porn and gratuitous murder, yeah baby!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[45,40],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=608"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":687,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608\/revisions\/687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/span><\/strong>My cousin\u2019s getting married in Chicago.\u00a0 Game on.<\/em><\/p>\n