So there we were earlier this school year, driving \u2013 again \u2013 to school.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t think a lot could happen on a drive like this, because it\u2019s not yet 8 in the morning and we\u2019re only driving 5 blocks away.\u00a0 You would be wrong.\u00a0<\/p>\n
For those of you scoring at home, \u201cnot yet 8 in the morning\u201d translates to \u201cNumber One Son has been up for at least two hours playing games and working himself into a really good crazy.\u00a0 I mean, there\u2019s \u201cjust woke up\u201d crazy, which most of us go through to varying degrees, and there\u2019s \u201cohmygodI\u2019mlate\u201d crazy, and we all know what that\u2019s like.\u00a0 What you may not be familiar with, however, is the \u201cslam down whatever food I can find or open and play video games until everyone else wakes up\u201d crazy, which really gets him chuffed into a solid gonzo some days.\u00a0 An hour later, we\u2019re up and giving him his meds.\u00a0 In the face of a solid windmill-armed dervish, the chances those medications have of kicking in before he goes to school are pretty much the same odds the 3rd Grade pet hamster has in a volcano \u2013 to wit, not much.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But once in a while, he finds his coping mechanisms and they work.\u00a0 For a change, it wasn\u2019t Number One Son screaming arterial homicide out the car window for 5 straight blocks \u2013 he leveraged his skills in transference and it was the Reigning Queen of Pink doing the shouting.\u00a0 In her defense, when she does it it\u2019s not called shouting, it\u2019s called \u201caddressing her subjects.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
It\u2019s summer, the windows are open, and she sees her friends walking to school.\u00a0 One of these friends is named, believe it or not, Jack.\u00a0 Can you see this coming yet?<\/p>\n
At the top of her royal lungs, head halfway out the open window, \u201cHI JACK!!!\u00a0 HI JACK!!!\u201d<\/p>\n
You know, we live in the shadow of the nation\u2019s capitol.\u00a0 People really do turn and look when they hear that.\u00a0 Some of them are armed.\u00a0<\/p>\n