{"id":4229,"date":"2020-02-24T11:21:04","date_gmt":"2020-02-24T16:21:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=4229"},"modified":"2020-02-24T11:21:08","modified_gmt":"2020-02-24T16:21:08","slug":"its-always-the-pangolins-with-you-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=4229","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s Always the Pangolins With You People"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Wu Yuanbin said that regarding the South China Agricultural University team’s suggestion that pangolin may be one of the intermediate hosts of the new coronavirus, the relevant scientific research team is being organized to test this hypothesis. Research on the spread of new coronavirus from pangolin to humans is also being stepped up.\u00a0 (<\/em>https:\/\/promedmail.org\/promed-post\/?id=7009213<\/em><\/a>)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is it with you soft-bellied bipeds and taking responsibility for once?  New virus outbreak?  Blame the Pangolins.  Too many insects in the crops?  Blame the Pangolins.  Bernie won’t stop muddying the Democratic primaries?  Pangolins.  Why is it any time there\u2019s a new global disaster, someone\u2019s doing a Pangolin hit piece in the New Republic? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Really, we\u2019re getting pretty sick of taking the fall for every little thing that goes wrong with you people.  You\u2019ve been doing it for years.  JFK?  Blame the Pangolins.  Do you know the most redacted word in the Mueller report?  Of course you don\u2019t, that\u2019s what redacted means, but I\u2019ll give you a hint:  Starts with a P, rhymes with angolin. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kid won\u2019t go the fuck to sleep?  Invoke the giant pangolins.  Like it\u2019s our fault Mrs. Knowles brought cupcakes to preschool again and little Johnny ate more sugar than most third-world families see in a month.  Jimmy Hoffa?  Well, ok, yeah, that was us.  You do NOT fuck with a pangolin.  You\u2019ll never find that crooked son of a bitch.  But that\u2019s not the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point is you don\u2019t take responsibility.  Pangolins didn\u2019t meddle in the election \u2013 humans did. Pangolins didn\u2019t eat the plums in the icebox you were probably saving for breakfast.  Humans did.  Pangolins aren\u2019t making sea levels rise, or causing respirator mask shortages, or forcing old rich white guys to run for president.  Quit blaming us for your shit, and take your \u201cnovel\u201d coronavirus and stick it where the moon don\u2019t shine.  I swear just thinking about it makes me want to curl up into an oversized pinecone and wait it out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, sure, go ahead and tell yourselves it\u2019s the Pangolins when you\u2019re coughing all that Wuhan death-market dust out of your lungs.  How about not selling our scales as medicine for a change?  You know what I hear cures coronavirus?  Dried, ground up politician penis.  Try selling that on the black market.  It would be nice to balance the scales for once.  Scales, get it?  That\u2019s a joke.  God, you\u2019re dumb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing is, we don\u2019t need to mess with you. You\u2019re messing things up just fine on your own. You\u2019re so full of yourselves and your xenophobic blame-someone-else mentality that you don\u2019t even notice it \u2013 you\u2019re like lemurs, but without the cute fur.  You don\u2019t see lemurs complaining about new viruses. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So just like the Earth, your temperature is going up 3 degrees?  We don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019ll all be ours when you\u2019re gone.  Then we can blame you for a change.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wu Yuanbin said that regarding the South China Agricultural University team’s suggestion that pangolin may be one of the intermediate hosts of the new coronavirus, the relevant scientific research team is being organized to test this hypothesis. Research on the spread of new coronavirus from pangolin to humans is also being stepped up.\u00a0 (https:\/\/promedmail.org\/promed-post\/?id=7009213) What […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4229"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4230,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229\/revisions\/4230"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}