So every once in a while I get up off the couch of parenthood, leave the house, and take a walk around the block. I figure if both my lawyer and my cardiologist are giving me the same advice, I should probably pay attention.<\/p>\n
Have you ever noticed the unholy amount of noise birds make when you\u2019re outside in the springtime? Mind you, birdsong may be the most beautiful way in the world to shout, \u201cHey baby, I\u2019ve got a really big tonker!\u201d The incessant cacophony of come-hither come ons, however, does sometimes make me want to come out for a second walk, this time with a shotgun, and see about dinner. No wonder cats eat birds \u2013 I bet they\u2019re not hunting for dinner, they just want a moments\u2019 peace for their naps.<\/p>\n
And don\u2019t start with me about walking at night. The frogs are yelling the same thing, but without the cute warbles and trills. <\/p>\n
I should probably just go back to reviewing porn, where they\u2019ve at least learned that no one cares if there\u2019s a sound track, or even sound. In fact, you could probably run a porn movie and overlay a soundtrack of bird and frog mating calls, and it would make just as much sense. Hmmmm\u2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So every once in a while I get up off the couch of parenthood, leave the house, and take a walk around the block. I figure if both my lawyer and my cardiologist are giving me the same advice, I should probably pay attention. Have you ever noticed the unholy amount of noise birds make […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[40],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=394"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}