{"id":3614,"date":"2013-06-28T08:00:58","date_gmt":"2013-06-28T13:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3614"},"modified":"2013-06-28T06:43:59","modified_gmt":"2013-06-28T11:43:59","slug":"manfaq-friday-not-by-the-hairs-of-his-chinny-chin-chin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3614","title":{"rendered":"ManFAQ Friday: Not by the Hairs of his Chinny Chin Chin?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Friday is\u00a0once again answer time at the ManFAQ<\/a>.\u00a0 And so I don my manly mantle as Sage of the Sexes, helping demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler, as we add to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years.\u00a0\u00a0Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man.\u00a0 Like the man said,\u00a0“What could go wrong?”<\/p>\n

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Question:\u00a0<\/strong> Dear Big Ugly Man Doll, at what point should I request\/insist my spouse address the 14 hairs sprouting on my 14-year-old son’s chin? –when the black one on his cheek passes one inch long? –when the chin hairs could, theoretically, be braided? I have mentioned it enough times that my Cool Mom status is in serious jeopardy. Shouldn’t someone who actually shaves (his neck, quarterly) have to deal with this?<\/em><\/p>\n

-Sincerely, Hairy-legged Mom of Boys<\/em><\/p>\n

Answer:\u00a0<\/strong> Dear Hairy,\u00a0 Let me say first that you are wise and wonderful to approach this with some delicacy, or at least to make it your spouse’s problem.\u00a0\u00a0 They say you never forget your first girl, and I assure you as a former 14-yr-old boy, you never forget your first shave, either.\u00a0 Mind you, I was 13.\u00a0 My mother looked at me from across the room, rolled her eyes, and told me to go wash my face.\u00a0 I returned a moment later, and she said “I thought I told you to go wash your face!”\u00a0 “I did,” I protested.\u00a0 “Come here.”\u00a0 She realized that mere soap wasn’t going remove the\u00a0incipient mustache that was darkening my lip, and immediately called for my father.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So I have to side with you on this one – someone familiar with the razorly arts should sit him down in front of the mirror, bust out the whipped cream, and show him how much fun it is to scrape a phenomenally sharp blade across your features until you bleed.\u00a0 Even for women who shave their legs, it’s just not the same thing.\u00a0 (Women who regularly shave their faces don’t tend to have this particular problem in the first place.)\u00a0<\/p>\n

But the question of when – when he’s ready.\u00a0 (After all, if you’ve mentioned it to him, he’ll get to it.\u00a0 No need to nag him about it every six months.)\u00a0\u00a0 No, OK, not really.\u00a0 You’re going to need leverage.\u00a0 Your best bet is to explain to the 14-yr-old that Fu Manchu never got girls, and that his own best chances of getting girls someday – some far disant day 4 years from now, perhaps, but still – is to chafe those cheeks and trim the scraggle-chin.\u00a0 When he brings up ZZ Top – and we all bring up ZZ Top –\u00a0tell him that when it comes in like theirs, he can grow it out like theirs – but until then, Gillette is still the best a man can get.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Good luck!<\/p>\n

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Now you know.\u00a0 Please, feel free to comment!\u00a0 Also, forward any questions you\u2019d like answered to BUMD \u2013 at \u2013 biguglymandoll.com!\u00a0 As always, your anonymity is guaranteed!<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Sage of the Sexes, demystifying the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[41],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3614"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3614"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3614\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3666,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3614\/revisions\/3666"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}