{"id":3600,"date":"2013-03-29T14:38:38","date_gmt":"2013-03-29T19:38:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3600"},"modified":"2013-03-29T14:39:44","modified_gmt":"2013-03-29T19:39:44","slug":"manfaq-friday-bvd-tmi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3600","title":{"rendered":"ManFAQ Friday: BVD TMI?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Friday is\u00a0once again answer time at the ManFAQ<\/a>, and we will dedicate today’s ManFAQ to the manliest of men, Richard Griffiths, who died yesterday.\u00a0 As\u00a0a pompous, manly, and strong\u00a0head of household, he was second only to Archie Bunker in his role as Harry Potter’s Uncle Vernon Dursley.\u00a0 And so,\u00a0as an actor’s actor and a man’s man,\u00a0today it is\u00a0in the memory of Uncle Vernon that I don my manly mantle as Sage of the Sexes, helping demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler, as we add to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years.\u00a0\u00a0Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man.\u00a0 As Uncle Vernon would have said,\u00a0“What could go wrong, boy?”<\/p>\n

\n

Question:\u00a0<\/strong> Do you really use the front flap\u00a0of your tighty whities?\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Answer:\u00a0<\/strong> It depends.\u00a0 There are those of us who never use the “frontal access device” to access our devices, simply because we tend to forget it’s there.\u00a0 (The access, not the device.\u00a0 We’re usually pretty aware of the device.)\u00a0 Some of us do not like the sensation of thrusting the device through multiple layers of cloth – it’s turning left! \u00a0No, it’s turning right!\u00a0 No, wait!\u00a0 Imagine a double-gated bra and you’ll see what I mean.\u00a0\u00a0 Mind you, some of us will thrust that thing anywhere, and see this as less of a big deal.<\/p>\n

Some of us\u00a0tend to use the “frontal access device” when we need to be hands-free – sometimes, in this busy day and age, we’re otherwise occupied and need both hands to make sure we don’t drop the phone in the pool, if you know what I mean.\u00a0 If I’ve got one hand holding down the shorts for Mr. Shorty to take his brief walk, and we can assume the other hand is against the wall holding myself up due to the near permanent state of exhaustion I’m in, then which hand is going to return your txt message or answer the phone when it rings?\u00a0 Many’s the poor bastard who’s forgotten what he was doing and moved that hand away at the wrong time, causing the elastic to contract and firing the old\u00a0hose straight up – no, sometimes it’s better to open those gates and let gravity do its work.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Most guys also take this approach if there’s any chance you’ll walk in on them.\u00a0 Usually, you’d be behind them, and this *might* give you the impression that they’re going commando today – which in turn might lead to thoughts of Hey Hey, since it’s already out of its cage…\u00a0\u00a0 You know where I’m going with this, right?\u00a0 It never works, but we still think it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Now you know.\u00a0 Please, feel free to comment!\u00a0 Also, forward any questions you\u2019d like answered to BUMD \u2013 at \u2013 biguglymandoll.com!\u00a0 As always, your anonymity is guaranteed!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do guys really use the front flap of your tightie whities? The Sage of the Sexes, demystifying the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[41],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3600"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3600"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3600\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3605,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3600\/revisions\/3605"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}