{"id":3541,"date":"2013-02-22T16:58:39","date_gmt":"2013-02-22T21:58:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3541"},"modified":"2013-02-22T16:58:39","modified_gmt":"2013-02-22T21:58:39","slug":"manfaq-friday-dont-cross-the-streams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3541","title":{"rendered":"ManFAQ Friday: Don’t Cross the Streams!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here we are, another Friday, and\u00a0it’s answer time at the ManFAQ<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0Once again\u00a0I don my manly mantle as Sage of the Sexes, helping demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler, as we add to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years.\u00a0\u00a0Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man.<\/p>\n

What could go wrong?<\/p>\n

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Question:\u00a0<\/strong> My husband was complaining about the large conference area in his office; it seats around 100 people, but the men’s room only has a single urinal.\u00a0 I asked him why you guys can’t double up on a urinal, and he looked at me like I’d suggested he kiss the other guy on the mouth.\u00a0 What’s the big deal?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong>\u00a0 I’ll concede that we’re built in such a fashion that you would think this would be feasible.\u00a0 But it isn’t.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Many years ago, I read a brilliant essay concerning universal rules.\u00a0 One of those rules concerned the men’s room, and the fact that you DON’T LOOK AT WHAT THE OTHER GUY IS DOING.\u00a0 You mind, as it were, your own business.\u00a0 You hope he’s doing the same thing you’re doing, but you don’t look over to check.\u00a0 It’s just not done.<\/p>\n

Even in restrooms that maximize what I will call urinary efficiency, which cover an entire wall with porcelain and add a few waterfalls here and there, we men will stand in reasonably close quarters to do what we need to do – but we do not cross the streams.\u00a0 It’s not that\u00a0all life as we know it would stop instantaneously or that every molecule in our body would explode at the speed of light, but still – it’s just not done.\u00a0 Part of this is about ownership – men and dogs still mark their territory this way, and to actively cross the stream of another guy is to say, “that’s not yours, I deny your claim, this is mine now,” which is not usually a conversation you want to have with a stranger with your dick in your hand.\u00a0 Most of us haven’t played “who’s is bigger” since that time in 2nd grade when the – you know what, never mind that.\u00a0 It’s not done, is the point.<\/p>\n

We’re not in stalls, waiting our turn.\u00a0 When we’re standing up, we’re out there in public, hanging it out for the public eye.\u00a0 There is – I’m told – some degree of insecurity there for some guys.\u00a0 (I, of course, have the opposite issue, and wait my turn for privacy as a public service so as to\u00a0make sure not to embarrass lesser men.)\u00a0 So why do we not, would\u00a0we not, can we not\u00a0share a single urinal?\u00a0 I’ve given you universal rules, social mores, and privacy concerns.\u00a0 Let’s discuss the clincher.<\/p>\n

You’ve probably, at one point or another, been around a bathroom that has been used by a standing man.\u00a0 What did you do?\u00a0 You cleaned it up, didn’t you?\u00a0 We’ve covered this before here at the ManFAQ<\/a>, but it bears repeating:\u00a0 We have lousy aim.\u00a0 Now, would YOU want to stand anywhere near the line of fire when Johnny over there opens up?\u00a0 I just got these Ferragamos polished, baby – if he pees on them, I’m going to have to sweep the leg in retaliation.\u00a0 It’s just not pretty.\u00a0 So it’s just not done.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Now you know.\u00a0 Please, feel free to comment!\u00a0 Also, forward any questions you\u2019d like answered to BUMD \u2013 at \u2013 biguglymandoll.com!\u00a0 As always, your anonymity is guaranteed!<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why can’t you share a urinal? What’s the big deal? The Sage of the Sexes, demystifying the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[41],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3541"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3541"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3550,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3541\/revisions\/3550"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}