{"id":3535,"date":"2013-02-15T21:14:15","date_gmt":"2013-02-16T02:14:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3535"},"modified":"2013-02-22T15:19:39","modified_gmt":"2013-02-22T20:19:39","slug":"manfaq-friday-spaced-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3535","title":{"rendered":"ManFAQ Friday: Spaced Out"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here we are, another Friday, and\u00a0it’s answer time at the ManFAQ<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0Once again\u00a0I don my manly mantle as Sage of the Sexes, helping demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler, as we add to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years.\u00a0\u00a0Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man.<\/p>\n

What could go wrong?<\/p>\n

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Question:\u00a0<\/strong> Why do you all go crazy for these asteroids?\u00a0 What’s the big deal?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now look, just because NASA says that some rock the size of a football field isn’t going to hit the damn planet doesn’t mean we’re out of the woods, cosmically speaking.\u00a0\u00a0 Remember, these are the same yahoos who slammed a multi-million dollar piece of gear into Mars because they couldn’t remember to convert between metric and standard units.\u00a0 This one seems to have missed us, sure, but the next one should have our complete attention as well.\u00a0 If you think it’s not a big deal, talk to those folks in Russia who thought there was a nuke over their towns this afternoon.\u00a0 (It’s somewhere between ironic and frightening that they all seemed pretty used to that idea, and no one panicked too badly.)<\/p>\n

But it *could* have hit us, and you need to understand that most of us guys live in a constant cloud of exciting “what if” scenarios.\u00a0 What if it hit the earth? What if it hit the moon, and it knocked the moon out of orbit and closer to the earth and caused huge Tsunamis all over the world?\u00a0 What if I came home and she was naked?\u00a0 What if I came home and she was Kate Upton, and<\/strong> she was naked?\u00a0 There are always<\/strong> “what ifs” to worry about.<\/p>\n

So we have, at the most dramatic, huge city-leveling explosions that could wipe out humanity (with the obvious exception of Keith Richards), and at a minimum we have what AC\/DC could only describe as bouncing big balls, hurling themselves around up there at speeds we can only dream of.\u00a0 It’s like watching god go bowling for satellites after knocking back a few divine pints, right?\u00a0 What if He threw a cosmic spare?\u00a0 What if the Russians were using the asteroid to divert attention from their new air-burst nuclear testing program?\u00a0 What if she really is naked when I come home?<\/p>\n

These are exciting times!\u00a0 What’s not to love?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Now you know.\u00a0 Please, feel free to comment!\u00a0 Also, forward any questions you\u2019d like answered to BUMD \u2013 at \u2013 biguglymandoll.com!\u00a0 As always, your anonymity is guaranteed!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why do you all go crazy for these asteroids? What’s the big deal? The Sage of the Sexes, demystifying the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3535"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3535"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3535\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3538,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3535\/revisions\/3538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}