{"id":3432,"date":"2013-01-11T19:55:51","date_gmt":"2013-01-12T00:55:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3432"},"modified":"2013-01-11T19:55:51","modified_gmt":"2013-01-12T00:55:51","slug":"manfaq-friday-come-and-get-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3432","title":{"rendered":"ManFAQ Friday: Come and Get It!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here we are, another Friday, and we’re still on the throne<\/a>, waiting for that magic to happen – oh, wait, here it comes – it’s answer time at the ManFAQ<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0Once again\u00a0I don my manly mantle as Sage of the Sexes, helping demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler, as we add to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years.\u00a0\u00a0Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What could go wrong?<\/p>\n

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Question:\u00a0<\/strong> What is it about the words \u201cDinner\u2019s ready\u201d that stimulate the male elimination system?\u00a0 After extensive testing, I’ve discovered that \u201cDinner will be ready in 5 minutes\u201d or \u201cDinner will be ready in a few minutes if you want to wash your hands now\u201d or similar statements have no effect whatsoever. \u00a0But \u201cDinner\u2019s ready\u201d precipitates an immediate dash to the bathroom and a good 5 \u2013 10 minute delay before any male (not just Hubby \u2013 as I said, I’ve tested this extensively) arrives to sit down to the now-lukewarm meal.<\/em><\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 There are a couple of things at play here.\u00a0 First, he doesn’t know how long he’ll be sitting at the table, and he doesn’t want to get up.\u00a0 This is actually a\u00a0throwback to the days where you *never* got up before your host; it was a sign of disrespect, and of weakness.\u00a0 If it’s just the two of you, he wants to make sure he doesn’t have to get up for anything, so as to prove to you what a manly\u00a0man he is.\u00a0 If there are other men around, this goes double.\u00a0 After all, he thinks, “If she thinks I have a very large bladder…”\u00a0 Well, you get the idea.\u00a0 The fact that you’re waiting on him to start eating while he empties that tiny\u00a0tank doesn’t actually occur to him.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If it’s just the two of you, there’s also a very good chance that he’s “cleaning up” a little.\u00a0 You never know when that chicken flamb\u00e9 might get out of control, and a cute young couple could find themselves in Hey Hey Delecto amid the dishes.\u00a0 I know you find it hard to believe, but we really do think like that.\u00a0 He wants to be ready for anything to happen – anything at all!<\/p>\n

After all, he was probably a boy scout once.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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