{"id":3399,"date":"2012-12-22T21:33:59","date_gmt":"2012-12-23T02:33:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3399"},"modified":"2012-12-22T21:38:40","modified_gmt":"2012-12-23T02:38:40","slug":"jingle-bells","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3399","title":{"rendered":"Jingle Bells"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I just found this on my hard drive, with a date from more than 7 years ago.\u00a0 I have a reasonable sneaking suspicion that I wrote it.\u00a0 Thought I&#8217;d share!\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Dashing through the store,<br \/>\nI&#8217;m one Horseman away.<br \/>\nDid St. John the Divine<br \/>\nEnvision Christmas Day?<br \/>\nI&#8217;ve gotta buy this stuff,<br \/>\nAnd wrap it up real tight,<br \/>\nBut shopping at the mall&#8217;s<br \/>\nLike the Apocalypse tonight!<\/p>\n<p>Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,<br \/>\nThe holidays are here!<br \/>\nWhy do we put our<br \/>\nSelves through this<br \/>\nThe same time every year?<\/p>\n<p>Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,<br \/>\nThe holidays are here!<br \/>\nWhy do we put our<br \/>\nSelves through this<br \/>\nThe same time every year?<\/p>\n<p>Grandma&#8217;s getting socks,<br \/>\nAnd Grandpa&#8217;s getting drunk,<br \/>\nAnd no one wants the box<br \/>\nThat smells faintly of skunk.<br \/>\nPresents quickly wrapped.<br \/>\nSweat sox hung with care.<br \/>\nI think this keg is tapped.<br \/>\nHey! \u00a0Perhaps Grandpa will share!<\/p>\n<p>Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,<br \/>\nThe holidays are here!<br \/>\nWhy do we put our<br \/>\nSelves through this<br \/>\nThe same time every year?<\/p>\n<p>Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,<br \/>\nThe holidays are here!<br \/>\nWhy the hell do we put<br \/>\nOurselves through this<br \/>\nThe Same! Time! Ev! Ry! year?!?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>But shopping at the mall&#8217;s \/ Like the Apocalypse tonight!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,53,43],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3399"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3399"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3399\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3406,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3399\/revisions\/3406"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}