{"id":3340,"date":"2012-11-28T10:06:38","date_gmt":"2012-11-28T15:06:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3340"},"modified":"2015-01-06T10:32:11","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T15:32:11","slug":"wednesday-morning-road-trip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3340","title":{"rendered":"Wednesday Morning Road Trip"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Why does every Interstate way station, rest stop, and welcome center in the US always seem to be playing Peter Gabriel&#8217;s Sledgehammer when you stop there for a pee break and fresh coffee?<\/p>\n<p>Channeling our inner Willies, we&#8217;re on the road again, of course. We&#8217;re flying down the highways, westbound, here at the ass end of November as we drive to Chicago and the Queen Mother of Pink&#8217;s 95th birthday. We&#8217;re taking the north pass through Cleveland, the Mistake on the Lake, and the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame. Hilarity is certain to ensue!<\/p>\n<p>Two hours under our wheels has us on the Penna Turnpike, rolling hills dotted with cows, deer, and the odd rusted out shell of one of Detroit&#8217;s finest. We&#8217;d been driving for 90 minutes or so in silence when Number One Son, apropos of nothing, made the following observation: &#8220;Sisters. They&#8217;re so much more pleasant when they&#8217;re asleep.&#8221; No argument there, but I had to tell him to announce these observations more quietly or risk their wrath when he woke them up.<\/p>\n<p>The last few trips to Chicago have been summertime excursions, with nature&#8217;s broad paintbrush of glorious color generously applied at every turn. Westward Ho through November&#8217;s arse, it seems, is an altogether<br \/>\ndifferent and monochromatic story. There&#8217;s Green-with-brown, Gray-with-brown, Brown, Dingy Brown, and Dirty Snow. That seems to be the extent of color available to the landscape &#8211; even the signs and billboards offer no relief.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll check the local fauna. \u00a0Horses &#8211; brown. \u00a0Ducks &#8211; nope, they&#8217;re brown.\u00a0 Hey, cows! Black, black, black, black, and oh hey, brown. \u00a0Passing the &#8220;Fun Slides Carpet Skatepark;&#8221; sounds fascinating, but not a lot of color. Whoops, there&#8217;s a couple of deer &#8211; and guess what?<\/p>\n<p>Even the permanent construction of traffic cone orange is faded and brown.\u00a0 Maybe Cleveland will have some color.\u00a0 There&#8217;s rock -n- roll there, right?<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"God Blass You, Mr. Zevon\" href=\"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=3346\">Onward to Cleveland!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why does every Interstate way station, rest stop, and welcome center in the US always seem to be playing Peter Gabriel&#8217;s Sledgehammer when you stop there for a pee break and fresh coffee? Channeling our inner Willies, we&#8217;re on the road again, of course. We&#8217;re flying down the highways, westbound, here at the ass end [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[48],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3340"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3340"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3340\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3868,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3340\/revisions\/3868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3340"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3340"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3340"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}