This needs some work, but….<\/p>\n
One day as the Little Red Hen was scratching in a field, she found a grain of wheat.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"This wheat should be planted," she said. "Who will help me plant this grain of wheat?"<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Can’t you even plant a freaking grain of wheat by yourself?" said her asshole boyfriend.<\/p>\n
"Is it difficult for you to see situations or individuals realistically?" said her therapist.<\/p>\n
"You need to respect other peoples’ boundaries," said her mother.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Then I’ll do it myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Soon the wheat grew to be tall and yellow.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"The wheat is ripe," said the Little Red Hen. "Who will help me cut the wheat?"<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Only if we’re going to smoke it," said her asshole boyfriend.<\/p>\n
"You must learn to do these things for yourself," said her therapist.<\/p>\n
"Put on a sweater if you’re going to be outside for long," said her mother.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Then I’ll do it myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When the wheat was cut, the Little Red Hen said, "Who will help me thresh the wheat?"<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Why don’t you come over here and thresh my wheat," said her asshole boyfriend.<\/p>\n
"Your parents were never married, were they?" said her therapist.<\/p>\n
"Tell your therapist to shut his overpaid, overeducated mouth," said her mother.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Then I’ll do it myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When the wheat was threshed, the Little Red Hen said, "Who will help me take this wheat to the mill?"<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Pick me up a six-pack while you’re out," said her asshole boyfriend.<\/p>\n
"Did you MapQuest the directions?" said her mother. “Don’t forget the GPS.”<\/p>\n
"Are you afraid of allowing other people to be who they are or of allowing events to happen naturally?" said her therapist.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Then I’ll do it myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She took the wheat to the mill and had it ground into flour. Then she said, "Who will help me make this flour into bread?"<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Yeah, be out in just a minute hon," said her asshole boyfriend.<\/p>\n
"Ohhh!" said her mother.<\/p>\n
"You know you’re mother’s sleeping with your boyfriend while you’re out," said her therapist.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Then I’ll do it myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She made and baked the bread. Then she said, "Who will help me eat this bread?"<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"Oh! I will," said her asshole boyfriend.<\/p>\n
"And I will," said her therapist.<\/p>\n
"And I will," said her mother.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
"You can all go screw yourselves!" said the Little Red Hen. "I’m outta here." And she left, taking her bread with her. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This needs some work, but…. One day as the Little Red Hen was scratching in a field, she found a grain of wheat. "This wheat should be planted," she said. "Who will help me plant this grain of wheat?" "Can’t you even plant a freaking grain of wheat by yourself?" said her asshole […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=231"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}