{"id":226,"date":"2008-12-02T21:33:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-03T01:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=226"},"modified":"2010-08-10T23:03:37","modified_gmt":"2010-08-11T03:03:37","slug":"why-was-4th-grade-never-this-much-fun-when-we-were-in-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=226","title":{"rendered":"Why was 4th Grade never this much fun when we were in it?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">One of the many dangers of helping your kids with their homework is that you won\u2019t be able to \u2013 sometimes for vastly different reasons.\u00a0Number One Daughter got halfway through her homework this evening before shouting for help.\u00a0The assignment was to take any eight of her 18 weekly study words and <strong>write at least 8 jokes, with a study word as the answer.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">You can imagine the issue.\u00a0Can I write jokes?\u00a0Don\u2019t call me surely.\u00a0Can I write the kind of jokes a ten-yr-old would come up with, that she can pass off as hers?\u00a0You must be Lupin, \u2019cause you\u2019re surely not Serious.\u00a0I\u2019m just not 10 anymore \u2013 no comments, you.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">The words to choose from are:\u00a0<strong>applaud, appoint, balloon, cocoon, counsel, coward, daughter, devour, doubtful, exploit, faucet, fountain, laundry, noodle, poison, rejoice, rowdy, shampoo.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">I thought I\u2019d take a moment to share why I can\u2019t do my daughter\u2019s homework for her.\u00a0The best I could do for her were the following:<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul style=\"margin-top: 0in\" type=\"disc\">\n<li style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><span style=\"color: red\">What do you get when you cross a cow with a yard?<\/span>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: green\">A coward!<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><span style=\"color: red\">Why was Sham in the bathroom?<\/span>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: green\">Because he had to shampoo.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>(They were begging for that.)<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><span style=\"color: red\">Why did Barack Obama appoint Hillary Clinton to be Secretary of State?<\/span>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: green\">He thought she had appoint!<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><strong><span style=\"color: green\">If a cannibal divorces his wife, does he devour?<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><strong>\u00a0<\/strong>The first two, OK, I\u2019m channeling my inner child.\u00a0The third, my kid, maybe.\u00a0The last one, let\u2019s face it, her teacher\u2019s gonna know it\u2019s not a 4th Grader writing anymore.\u00a0And then there\u2019s a whole list of \u201cno, don\u2019t write that down.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul style=\"margin-top: 0in\" type=\"disc\">\n<li style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><span style=\"color: red\">What do you do when your teacher makes you read \u201cUlysses\u201d twice?<\/span>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: green\">Rejoice!<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><span style=\"color: red\">What do you do when Oon, the new girl in class, asks to meet you behind the bleachers?<\/span>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: green\">Balloon!<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><span style=\"color: red\">What do airlines do with dyslexic pilots?<\/span><strong>\u00a0<span style=\"color: green\">Exploit them!<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\"><span style=\"color: red\">What did the Boston plumber advise when told the handle on the sink wouldn\u2019t turn?<\/span>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: green\">Faucet!<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">\u00a0Please comment with your own examples.\u00a0You will be graded on punctuation, spelling, and usage.\u00a0(There will be no math.)<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt\">\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the many dangers of helping your kids with their homework is that you won\u2019t be able to \u2013 sometimes for vastly different reasons.\u00a0Number One Daughter got halfway through her homework this evening before shouting for help.\u00a0The assignment was to take any eight of her 18 weekly study words and write at least 8 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[35,3,33],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=226"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":470,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226\/revisions\/470"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}