{"id":2251,"date":"2011-12-24T17:05:30","date_gmt":"2011-12-24T21:05:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2251"},"modified":"2011-12-24T17:05:30","modified_gmt":"2011-12-24T21:05:30","slug":"advent-of-holiday-horror-song-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2251","title":{"rendered":"Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Yes, it&#8217;s the penultimate horror.\u00a0 We&#8217;re nearly at the end, and that&#8217;s a good thing for SO. MANY. REASONS.\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Tomorrow&#8217;s Christmas.\u00a0 That&#8217;s not a bad thing.<\/li>\n<li>The day after that, you are legally allowed to whack people playing Holiday tunes (as long as you use\u00a0sticks under half an inch thick) in 37 out of 50 states and at least 2 Canadian provinces.\u00a0 Chances are you&#8217;re in one of them, have at &#8217;em.<\/li>\n<li>The food gets better the closer you get to Christmas.\u00a0 Yesterday I had breakfast for breakfast, no lunch, and breakfast for dinner.\u00a0 Today&#8217;s breakfast was homemade bagels with homemade GravLax cured salmon; Vietnamese Bahn Mi sandwiches with pate, shrimp, and god-only-knows-what kind of meat for lunch; and escargot, gougere cheese puffs, shrimp, and a selection of tapas-style pates and meats for dinner.\u00a0 Tomorrow holds the promise of cow.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not pouting.<\/li>\n<li>You won&#8217;t have to read any more of this list.\u00a0 Could you BE more thankful?\u00a0 I didn&#8217;t think so.<\/li>\n<li>Truly, it&#8217;s the most wonderful time of the year.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And it is.\u00a0 It&#8217;s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re a sadist!\u00a0 Because I love shoulder-surfing\u00a0the crowds, fighting the traffic, and listening to people telling me to &#8220;be cheerful!&#8221;\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 I&#8217;ll be cheerful when the holidays are over.\u00a0 GFY, and get outta the way.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>its the most wonderful time of the year <\/em><br \/>\n<em>with the kids jingle belling <\/em><br \/>\n<em>and everyone telling you be of good cheer<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Jingle-belling?\u00a0 We talked about the whole &#8220;verbing weirds language&#8221; bit, right?\u00a0 And then later, we&#8217;re going to do some &#8220;misoltoeing&#8221; &#8211; which SOBUMD would tell me is another dumb, oblique way to ask for sex.\u00a0 &#8220;Ho, ho, ho, Hey Hey, how about a little misoltoeing, baby?&#8221;\u00a0 (Whack!)<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>there&#8217;ll be scary ghost stories <\/em><br \/>\n<em>and tales of the glories <\/em><br \/>\n<em>of Christmases long long ago<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Um, scary ghost stories?\u00a0 You know, the one\u00a0about the cat-burglar who\u00a0breaks into your house while you&#8217;re sleeping\u00a0is actually scary enough;\u00a0what&#8217;s\u00a0with the random Halloween\/summer camp reference?\u00a0 I think maybe our boy Andy had had a few too much nog and got his holidays mixed up.\u00a0 Next thing you know, it&#8217;ll be a Ron Paul Christmas, and we&#8217;re really going to be frightened.<\/p>\n<p>So hurry up, click it, listen.\u00a0 Get it over with.\u00a0 You know what&#8217;s coming.\u00a0 And it&#8217;s not just Santa.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/gFtb3EtjEic\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that make me barf a bit, the ones you know you\u2019re supposed to love, but really you\u2019d rather tell a Ron Paul ghost story than sit through them on the radio again \u2013 you know the kind I mean. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[53,21,43],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2251"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2251"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2303,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2251\/revisions\/2303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}