{"id":2222,"date":"2011-12-15T16:24:24","date_gmt":"2011-12-15T20:24:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2222"},"modified":"2011-12-15T16:24:24","modified_gmt":"2011-12-15T20:24:24","slug":"advent-of-holiday-horror-song-11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2222","title":{"rendered":"Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 11"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Every once in a while, some luckless knuckhead, some hapless sap will ask me, &#8220;Say, BUMD, what&#8217;s your wish for Christmas?\u00a0 What do <strong>you<\/strong> want this year?&#8221;\u00a0 And I tell them.<\/p>\n<p>My one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be.\u00a0\u00a0 All I want for Christmas is not to hear the song about my\u00a0my two front teeth, my two front teeth,\u00a0my two front teeth.\u00a0\u00a0 Why in the hell was sister Susie sitting on a thistle, and why would I want to say anything about it anyway?\u00a0 If I&#8217;m mithing my teeth, my lipth are thealed.\u00a0\u00a0 Lithp something oneth, why lithp it again?<\/p>\n<p>Even the jokes we make to the kids when they do, in fact, lose their central incisors simultaneously, are lame.\u00a0 &#8220;Oh, well, looks like you&#8217;ll have something to wish for come Christmastime!\u00a0\u00a0Ho ho! Ho!&#8221;\u00a0\u00a0 Why? \u00a0Because the song sucks.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It just thuckth.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/vLKMRhJGJeE\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that make me barf a bit, the ones you know you&#8217;re supposed to love, but really you&#8217;d rather knock your two front teeth out than sit through them on the radio again &#8211; you know the kind I mean.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[53,21,43],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2222"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2222"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2222\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2229,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2222\/revisions\/2229"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}