It’s the Holiday Season, and we’re counting down the Christmas songs that really make me gag, the kind you’d rather hammer your thumb a few times than listen to them on the radio again.\u00a0 You know the kind.\u00a0 They go like this:<\/p>\n
It’s a Holiday Horror
\nAnd all the songs that we detest
\nGet played along with all the rest
\nWhen Christmas time keeps rolling around
\nThey’ll be bringing all my spirits down, down
\nThey’ll be bringing all my spirits down<\/p>\n
It’s a Holiday Horror
\nAnd Santa Claus is coming back
\nHe’s mad as hell, and looks like Jack
\nNich – ol – son when he was on crack!
\nCome on\u00a0down the chimney, clown.<\/p>\n
It’s a Holiday Horror It’s a Holiday Horror Aaaaagghh.\u00a0 Make it stop.\u00a0 It is January yet?<\/p>\n No, really, it really sounds like that.\u00a0 Listen:\u00a0<\/p>\n
\nAnd Santa Claus has got a toy
\nFor every good girl and good little boy (But not the good big<\/strong> boys, they’re on their own)<\/em><\/span>
\nHe’s a great big bundle of joy (He’s the Chattanooga Shoe-Shine Boy?)<\/em><\/span>
\nHe’ll be coming down the chimney, down
\nComing down the chimney, down<\/p>\n
\nWith the whoop-de-do and hickory dock (can anyone tell me what the hell a hickory dock is?\u00a0 anyone?\u00a0 I’m waiting for a mouse to run up a friggin’ clock over here)<\/em><\/span>
\nAnd don’t forget to hang your dirty sweat sock
\nCause just exactly at 12 o’clock (because Santa has OCD just like the rest of us…)<\/em><\/span>
\nHe’ll be coming down the chimney
\nComing down the chimney
\nComing down the chimney, down!<\/p>\n