I try, reasonably, to write humor \u2013 mostly about the kids, sometimes about food and travel and music and life.\u00a0 Sometimes I have a nice time lambasting politicians, mostly because it\u2019s just so much fun, and it\u2019s easy.\u00a0 But every once in a while, I decide that I\u2019m not forcing you to read this (with a few exceptions), and there are things I feel like I need to put down on paper, even if more than 500 people happen to be reading over my electronic shoulder.\u00a0 So, every once in a while, yes, welcome to the crazy in my head.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
I buried a friend and co-worker last week, and while I am not, as a rule, much given to introspection, I realized that I was actually pretty distressed about this and it occurred to me to wonder why.\u00a0 People die, every day, good or bad, old or young \u2013 it\u2019s part of the natural order of things, and I know that.\u00a0 I mean I *really* know it, not just intellectually, and the fact that a good, young person lost a fight with cancer does not really go against my sense of fairness \u2013 I haven\u2019t any \u2013 nor against my understanding of how the universe works.\u00a0 I knew him only for 6 months.\u00a0 Why am I as distressed as I seem to be?<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t spend a lot of time in my own head (it\u2019s dark in there, for starters) but as I thought about it, I realized that I\u2019m not distressed about my friend.\u00a0 He\u2019s in a better place, and I don\u2019t much believe in better places, but I know that *he* did, and for my money that\u2019s what counts.\u00a0 I\u2019ll miss him, yes.\u00a0 I liked him.\u00a0 But I\u2019m distressed about his family.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Not about what they must be feeling; I get that.\u00a0 Suffering happens all over the world, and they had a chance to be with him through it and at the end; they had some time to prepare.\u00a0 This was very fast, but it was far from overnight.\u00a0<\/p>\n
He worked for me.\u00a0 I interviewed him, some 6 months ago now, and I hired him, and he worked for me.\u00a0 I believe there\u2019s magic in that, an old alchemy.\u00a0 There\u2019s a binding, when one person enters into a contract with another to do what that other person asks them to in exchange for something the first person needs.\u00a0 Maybe I spent too much time daydreaming when my best history teacher (Tom Richards, and if you\u2019re reading this, go back to bed, you beautiful old man) taught us about the laws of Primogenitor and feudal society and no<\/em>blesse oblige<\/em>.\u00a0 As the eldest child, and male, of my generation in my family, this is probably no surprise.<\/p>\n As I grew older, I read a little less about castles and serfs and a little more about the Wild West \u2013 and guess what?\u00a0 If you read about the Code of the West and tilt your head to the side a little and squint, it reads at least a bit like some of the feudal concepts of no<\/em>blesse oblige<\/em> \u2013 the obligations of the nobility.\u00a0 The Code of the West made it inclusive, though \u2013 you were not born<\/strong> to nobility, you simply were<\/strong> nobility, by virtue of your gun and the Code.\u00a0 (I\u2019m sure 99% of the Occupy people would have a field day with all this.\u00a0 You say asshole, I say 300 hundred years too late.\u00a0 No matter.)\u00a0<\/p>\n With great power comes great responsibility, and thank you Stan Lee.<\/p>\n If a man worked for you, and died while in your employ, you should be responsible for looking after the welfare of his wife and children.\u00a0<\/p>\n Some people have commented that I\u2019ve done a good job of handling the proceedings and working with the family, who are having to deal with a large and sometimes bureaucratic corporation.\u00a0 I feel disingenuous accepting their compliments, because I feel I\u2019m not doing anywhere near enough.\u00a0<\/p>\n He worked for me and he died while in my employ.\u00a0 I should be making sure his wife and kids are OK financially.\u00a0 Never mind that our society has grown out of that kind of thing.\u00a0 Never mind that the family doesn\u2019t expect it, wouldn\u2019t expect it, would not understand if I offered and might even be offended.\u00a0 Never mind that my company doesn\u2019t expect it.\u00a0 (Never mind that I couldn’t, even if it was<\/strong> expected.)\u00a0<\/p>\n No one thinks like that anymore.\u00a0<\/p>\n Except me.\u00a0 And so it bothers me.\u00a0<\/p>\n Welcome to the crazy.\u00a0 And thanks for reading here with me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The fact that a good, young person lost a fight with cancer does not really go against my sense of fairness \u2013 I haven\u2019t any \u2013 nor against my understanding of how the universe works. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2156"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2183,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156\/revisions\/2183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}