{"id":2153,"date":"2011-12-08T14:27:46","date_gmt":"2011-12-08T18:27:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2153"},"modified":"2011-12-08T14:27:46","modified_gmt":"2011-12-08T18:27:46","slug":"advent-of-holiday-horror-song-18","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2153","title":{"rendered":"Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 18"},"content":{"rendered":"

Diving right in, the\u00a0song originally planned for today has been bumped by this sack of saccharine suck, suggested by the ever-vigilant Madam List Maker.\u00a0 As much as I love Dean Martin – and I do, don’t get me wrong – it’s tough to really fall hard for the Marshmallow.<\/p>\n

It’s a marshmallow world in the winter<\/em>
\nWhen the snow comes to cover the ground<\/em>
\nIt’s the time for play, it’s a whipped cream day<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n

First, Dean-o sounds like he’s been hitting the nog pretty hard before they started recording.\u00a0 I mean, yeah, he kinda always sounded like that, usually because he’d been hitting the nog pretty hard, but he seems, um, happier than usual on this one.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Second, marshmallow clouds “being friendly” in the arms of the evergreen trees?\u00a0 I have a mental image of really, really sticky coniferious sex here.\u00a0 I don’t much like marshmallows in the first place,\u00a0so the whole idea makes me shake my head a bit.\u00a0 I suppose that if you’re sitting inside, nice and warm because you’ve got a fire going and you’ve had enough eggnog and whiskey, hold the eggnog, to bring down bull elephants, and you glance out the window and there’s just enough light to see the drifted mounds of snow out there, and you’re in the mood for something sweet and chewy to offset that eighth glass of bourbon, you might consider all that crap you’re going to have to shovel in the morning to look a little like a double-helping of marshmallow fluff.\u00a0 Go ahead, have another.<\/p>\n

You know what sucks more than shoveling snow?\u00a0 Shoveling snow with a hangover.\u00a0 I’m just sayin.<\/p>\n

But don’t\u00a0let that stop you.\u00a0 Bing\u00a0Crosby shoveled these marshmallows\u00a0in 1950, Vic Damone in 1951, Johnny Mathis in\u00a01963, Brenda Lee in\u00a01964.\u00a0 Just because Dean-o waited until 1966 doesn’t mean we can’t all do it.\u00a0 After all, the world is your snowball –\u00a0see how it grows!\u00a0 That’s how it goes, whenever it snows.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And it’s getting deep in here.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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